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YOUR EGO’S ROLE IN YOUR ART: HOW TO FIND FREEDOM IN THE CREATIVE PROCESS

Photo by Pauline Loroy | Unsplash

When was the last time you had a great idea that dissolved into scattered thoughts as soon as you confronted a blank page? 

Perhaps it would be easier to ask when the last great story or drawing flowed from your hand to its new vessel. Those days are few and far between, for reasons that have very little to do with art itself. It comes down to one follow up question we all ask ourselves: But how? 

Two words. That’s all it takes to derail your latest idea or project. If your ego were a villain, this would be its power. One deceptive question that tricks you into thinking you’ll find success, as it locks your best ideas in a choke hold. 

The truth in its trickery is that we do need to have some understanding of how – just not to the extent that our egos insist. 

Embrace The Unknown

A large part of being creative is working with the unknown. Whether you are writing a story, developing a new recipe, or plotting your own secret garden, you’re starting with a singular idea. A medley of flavors you’ve yet to try. A particular pattern that ignites a childlike excitement in your soul. 

You don’t know what the end result will be. If you did, what fun would it be to create? 

We live in a results driven society. Work late, hit your numbers, do it for the ‘gram. The beauty in creating is that the results don’t matter – something many of us have long forgotten.

There’s a commencement speech by Neil Gaiman called Make Good Art. During it, he says:

“When things get tough this is what you should do: Make good art. I’m serious. Husband runs off with a politician? Make good art. Leg crushed and then eaten by a mutated boa constrictor? Make good art. IRS on your tail? Make good art. Cat exploded? Make good art. Somebody on the internet thinks what you do is stupid or evil or it’s all been done before? Make good art. Probably things will work out somehow, and eventually time will take the sting away, but that doesn’t matter. Do what only you do best. Make good art. Make it on the good days too.” 

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The purpose of good art isn’t to find success, but to find an expression of and for yourself. It’s to feel heard and seen, even if you’re the only one hearing and seeing.

We don’t know what will come from our next story, or if our latest kitchen experiment will be a disaster. That would be like knowing the ending of the book you just bought before you even read it. You lose the magic of staying up with the stars, eagerly turning pages as you get lost in a new world. 

The unknown is that magic. 

Our egos have demonized the unknown, creating fear around each step of our creative processes. It wants to know that we’ll find success. It wants results, acceptance, a cash transaction. 

To quote Neil Gaimain again, “Characters get what they need. They never get what they want.” 

Know The Difference Between Want and Need

Logically speaking, it seems obvious right? We want cake but need nutrition. 

When it comes to your ego, the line isn’t so clear. 

We want and need success. We want and need profit. We want and need to create.

Blurring that line is akin to baking bread. You’re letting the question of how rise before you knead, and then rise again. Only there’s no end to this process because the question of how rarely yields a clear answer. We’re looking into the unknown and screaming “Show yourself!” As our own voices echo back on the cavern walls, we’re left with a jumbled slur of questions posing as answers. 

We want to know how. What we need is to discover the truth for ourselves. 

At some point in life, we forget that this worry of how is a learned habit. Children don’t wonder how they’ll draw the thing. They simply draw because they love it, and make up the rules as they go. 

When you create, you’re looking at something with a childlike sense of wonder. Maybe you’re trying to draw the peculiar squirrel that always steals from your bird feeder in the most obtuse way. Maybe you’re adding new flavors to a tried and true recipe just to see what happens. Whatever it is, you’re seeing from a pure perspective. One that’s uncomplicated by a sense of responsibility or anticipation of results. 

We want to be good. What we need is to simply do. 

Re-cultivate Your Process

Creating without expectations is a grueling process to relearn. It’s like drowning in the shallow end of a pool, only that water feels like quicksand. The confusion you feel is your ego forcing your brain to hold tightly to the neural pathways it’s worked so hard to pave. We’ve been tricked by our own minds to think that holding on to this negative thought process will keep us from failure. In reality, all it’s done is create a false sense of security leading down a winding path of misery. 

I say misery because I know that each of you reading this, right now in this moment, have a whisper in your heart that says “I just want to do this thing so badly.” You’re so passionate about it that thinking of it brings you a tearful joy. 

And yet, here we are. Questioning. Struggling. Doubting. 

What is the concrete method to defeating your ego? Repetition. 

Lean into your process. Trust it to guide you, even as you work to quiet that question of ‘how?’ Because at the end of the day, your creative process is all that you have.  

So what if your ego has questions? So what if your ego has doubts? Just because someone speaks doesn’t mean you have to answer. Just because someone judges, doesn’t mean you have to believe. 

Forget how. Think about what, and sometimes why, and go from there.

SAMANTHA PATERNOSTER

Writing is much bigger than a career. It’s more interesting than a hobby. It’s the spark to an eternal curiosity that has led me to learn unexpected skills, treasure knowledge passed down through generations, and create a space for voices that need to speak.

I earned my B.A. in Creative Writing from Brandeis University, with a focus on long and short fiction. I have nearly a decade of experience as a copywriter and editor. But I’ve also worked as an Email Analyst and QA Analyst at Yale University, helping to launch their redesigned Giving page circa 2014.

Most recently, I’ve started my own business – Creatively You. Built for my clients, it is founded on one simple act: listening. By listening to my clients’ dreams and needs, I am able to help them develop their brands through cohesive web design and content that tells their stories.

I don’t believe in linear paths. I do believe in the magic that embracing the unknown can bring.

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