The mindfulness and other practices discussed in this blog are not meant as a substitute for licensed clinical therapy or medication as recommended by a medical doctor. If you are seriously depressed it is very important that you seek the advice of a licensed therapist or medical professional. If you are feeling at all that you may harm yourself or someone else, please call 911.
My son recently said to me, “mom, I wish your business was not about all of the peace and love stuff.” – Spoken like a true 14-year-old! LOL
My response to him went something like this:
AJ, my business is all about peace and love, joy and happiness, because I had so much depression and anxiety earlier in my life. And, I had to learn to heal myself so that I could live with peace and joy. Now I share that with others.
He seemed to understand and accept that. But, he brings up a good point.
Every couple needs to take time to reconnect and deepen their intimacy. And what better way is there than to go on a beach minibreak? South Beach is a great place to do just that! Whether you’re looking for a vibrant nightlife, fantastic shopping, delicious food, gorgeous beaches or all-of-the-above SoBe has it!
Miami Beach in general has a reputation for being a playground for the rich and famous, a place to see and be seen. And it definitely is that! But, it’s also a bastion of diversity and a laid-back beach town. Yes there are beautiful, scantily clad bodies. But, there are also a lot of other bodies. So don’t worry, even if you want to wear a modest swim suit or clothing you will be okay.
“I have found that mindfulness, self-acceptance and meditation have given my daughter and I the strength we needed to get through the darkest of days and emerge blinking into this new life we have found ourselves in.” -Liane Richardson
It wasn’t until my recent experience with the death of my late partner, that I really realized the true darkness and pervasiveness of grief. It was if a light had been extinguished, the raw fear of realising that your life, complete with all the hopes and dreams you had together, was over. The support that I had so often taken for granted, gone in the blink of an eye. It has been fifteen months since his death, and I marvel at how resilient our daughter and I have been, faced with the lack of his physical presence in our life. It’s no time at all really, not in the grand scheme of things, but it sometimes feels that he has been gone forever. We have overcome all the major milestones for the first time and the rawness of our loss is fading.
There isn’t a one size fits all aspect to grief. In fact, it is quite a selfish emotion, we grieve for the loss of something or someone in our life, be it a person, a pet or a lifestyle. As such it is something that can overwhelm and, if we let it, consume us. That said, it is perfectly normal to grieve, and there isn’t a time limit, however, don’t let it be the sole focus of your life. Life comes at us pretty fast nowadays and change is something the majority of people shy away from. No-one chooses to wallow in grief, it really isn’t healthy, BUT it is an essential part of the process of momentous change after a loss.
I did a lot of research on grief and the grieving process after his death, especially trying to find a way to help our daughter live with her loss. Children deal with loss completely differently to us adults, my daughter needed to be with friends, to do normal things, not be whispered around or treated differently. Which was just as well because I nearly fell apart! It is true that one really finds out who your real friends are when the chips are down, and I was blessed to be surrounded by many people who softened the blow of his passing.
There is a general consensus amongst psychologists that there are stages to the grieving process:
- Denial. We can’t or won’t accept the loss and what it means for our future.
- Anger. With them for dying. With others for not saving them. With ourselves or a higher power.
- Bargaining. “Don’t let them die, please God, if you let them live I’ll do X.” Or in the event of their death ”if I do this God, will you bring them back to me?”
- Depression. This is the one that, if you allow it to take hold, will take you down with it. You dwell on the unfairness of it all, the lack of their presence in your life and the “what ifs” and “if only’s”. To be depressed as a result of the situation is a normal reaction to a loss and it is a necessary emotion to be able to heal and move on. To allow the depression to take hold of you is another thing altogether.
- Acceptance. The acceptance of your new reality.
There is no defined way that we will experience these emotions, indeed some of us won’t face all of them, although I did, to a lesser or greater degree. Ultimately the final stage is the one that will allow us to move forward in our new altered reality, because, like it or not, we can’t turn back the clock.
I have found that mindfulness, self-acceptance and meditation have given my daughter and I the strength we needed to get through the darkest of days and emerge blinking into this new life we have found ourselves in. He would be so proud of us and how well we have coped with his passing.
So we’ll keep on keeping on knowing that as each day passes the pain will slowly get easier to bear. I liked a quote I once saw on Pinterest, it said; Grief is like a stormy sea, the waves crash over you incessantly, gradually the storm, and the waves will subside and where once there were huge engulfing waves, there remain just tiny ripples and you can edge forward into your altered future.
With love and light,
Liane Richardson is a mother to four amazing children and a perpetual optimist bobbing around in the Sea Of Life. Her mission in life is to give others a helping hand or a shoulder to cry on. She is a strong believer in laughter being the best medicine (and chocolate!). What we think, we attract, so stay positive. Receive more goodness from Liane on her website: Liane Richardson
“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t-you’re right.” -Henry Ford
When I started my journey to becoming financially fit, just a little over a decade ago, I had no idea where I was headed. I knew I needed to make some serious changes in my relationship with money because I was nowhere close to where I wanted to be, where I dreamed of being all my life. I knew I had the drive, I knew what I wanted my financial future to look like, but I didn’t know why I just couldn’t seem to get ahead and reach my goals of being financially free.
So what was stopping me? My money mindset!
Now some of you may be thinking, what in the world is money mindset and why should I care? I get it, I had no idea what it was until I started searching for a way to dig my way out of the $25,000 of debt I had got myself into because I wasn’t aware of the somewhat toxic relationship I had with money. I was living paycheck to paycheck and I wasn’t paying attention to where I was spending my money. I knew how much money I had in my bank account and when it was gone, it was gone. By the last few days of the month I’d be eating ramen noodles and driving around on the fumes in my gas tank hoping I’d have enough to make it to the bank to cash my check on payday. I was MISERABLE!
While growing up, Disney movies and Nickelodeon were keen influences on my way of life.
One of my favorites still rings true today
Disney’s version of “The Jungle Book.” Its catchy song “Bear Necessities” has given me a few “ah-ha!” moments while replaying it in my head.
“Look for the bare necessities, The simple bare necessities. Forget about your worry and your strife, I mean the bare necessities, That’s why a bear can rest at ease. The simple bare necessities of life.”
Yes! The simple bare necessities of life and the ability to live with little and be grateful for what you have now — this is what I often find myself inspiring students with, and for good reason.
After a devastating house fire in 2011, my husband and I were left with nothing but the clothes on our back. We were graciously sent donations from our fantastic Beaufort community, and I learned quickly what it was like to live with bare necessities. Food, clothing and a hotel room for shelter were what we had. This experience quickly shifted our definition of what was necessary and what was important.
People, not things, were most important now. (more…)