Have you ever noticed that we scroll through our social media, praying one day we will have what other people have, beating ourselves up for not looking the way they do, and convincing ourselves that we would be happy if we had their life? The problem is that it’s very easy to lose focus of what is happening in our own lives. If you want to stop feeling this way, you have come to the right place!
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Step 1 : Detox
The first step is to remove all the accounts that you follow that don’t make you feel good. This can be as extreme as accounts that trigger past trauma, or as harmless as someone you always compare yourself to. If you find yourself feeling awkward about unfollowing someone close to you, remember that most platforms have a way of hiding certain accounts from your feed without blocking or unfollowing. This way you don’t have to have those conversations, if you are not ready to.
Try not to think too hard about whom you are going to unfollow. Just scroll through your feed as usual, and focus on how each post makes you feel. If you find one that brings up any negative emotions, such as shame, envy, or doubt, go to their feed. Do you feel this way while looking at the majority of their content? If so, hit unfollow (or mute), and move on. By removing accounts that don’t serve you and following those that do, you can take your power back, and start deciding how you want to feel when scrolling through your feed.
Step 2 : Diversify
This next step is so important, because human brains have the tendency to believe that what we see most often is “normal.”
This is one of the reasons why the media has been so successful in convincing us there is something wrong with normal human bodies. They have taken common characteristics the vast majority of us have, like cellulite, stretch marks, hip dips, rolls, etc., and made it so that we never see any of these things in mainstream media, other than to advertise for how to “fix” them. In doing this they have convinced us that there is something wrong with us just for being human, and trust me this is no accident!
Have you ever noticed how successful businesses are at selling us weight loss products, stretch mark creams, and cellulite removal tools? They are preying on insecurities they made up to start with, and profiting off of it.
If we continue to idolize the ideals these systems represent, we are allowing them to continue to hurt us and profit off of our pain. By following celebrities, weight loss gurus, and models that all have the “ideal” body type, and buying from brands that don’t promote inclusivity and diversity, we are only allowing these systems to continue to grow stronger. It is up to us to teach our brain what normal human bodies look like, and to do this we have to actively seek out a variety of different types of people.
Start here, if you haven’t already done so. Find people with bodies that look like yours, and that remind you you are normal. You will notice that with time, since they have similar characteristics to you, it will actually be a lot easier to believe you are normal and beautiful as you are.
Next, look for those with bodies of all shapes, sizes, colors, textures, and abilities. You can rewire your brain with very little work to believe that there is no single version of being human that is inherently more normal or more beautiful than another. With this realization comes the freedom to love yourself as you are, and who doesn’t want that?
You may notice, as you’re working to diversify your social media, that your brain comes up with a lot of judgemental thoughts about different types of bodies. This is totally normal! It doesn’t mean you are a bad person for thinking this way. Like the rest of us, you have a lot of deeply ingrained beliefs about what people should look like, Unfortunately we live in a racist, ableist, and fatphobic society, and as such have internalized this messaging. It takes time to rewire these beliefs, but I promise it can be done.
Improving your body image is, of course, a huge benefit of making these changes. But you will also learn about different people with different experiences. What you will find is that it will increase your compassion and awareness of the struggles different people go through every day, and I firmly believe tolerance is always a good lesson.
Related Post: BEING BOLD ABOUT BODY IMAGE
Step 3 : Target your insecurities
If you have any specific insecurities you want to work on, such as acne, weight, cellulite etc., this next step is for you. Try to find accounts that highlight the features you feel most self-conscious about. You might think no one would be crazy enough to have an Instagram dedicated to loving their acne, their eczema, or their rolls, but I promise they are out there. Once you find one, make sure you check out who they follow, as well as any suggested accounts that come up. By doing this you will be able to find similar people to follow. With time you will start to see the features you once hated as normal and human.
You may never get to a place where you have no insecurities about your body, and that’s okay. Even if you never love those parts of you, I guarantee, you will at least feel more neutral about them. I like to think we all have bad body image days, no matter where we are at on our journey to self love. The important thing to remember on these days is to be grateful for what your body does for you, rather than how it looks, and to have patience with yourself.
In closing, remember: your feed should be a place that inspires you, lifts your spirits, and makes you feel safe and heard. Social media is a powerful tool, and when used with care and consideration it can work for you instead of against you.
For more tips on learning to love yourself and improving your body image check me out at @normalnotwrong on Facebook, Instagram and Tiktok!
