One day, I was shopping at a local store and noticed another woman wardrobe shopping as well. She had two dresses in her hand. The same dress, but in two different colors. One was a solid black and the other was a navy and white polka dot. She tried them both on, coming out to modeled each one for the person she was with. When she stood in front of the mirror in the navy and white polka dot she smiled, twirled.
As she headed back to the dressing room, she saw me look so she asked what I thought. I told her it looked amazing on her. She twirled again! When she was checking out, I asked her if she got the dress and she said yes, she got the black one. I tried not to look disappointed especially when she said it was because the black dress was more practical. She said she often defaults to black because it’s so easy.
Notice she didn’t say because black looks amazing on her, or she feels incredible when she wears black. No, it was because it’s ‘more practical!’ I smiled and wished her well, but I secretly felt badly that she hadn’t taken a step beyond practical. Yes, the black looked okay on her, but the navy and white made her sparkle and her smiled when she was wearing it confirmed that.
I work with a lot of women in their closets and I can’t tell you the number of times a woman will mention that she played it safe, or purchased one more black item or basic piece because she didn’t feel confident going beyond that. We’ve all done it. We’ve all had the experience of settling. The problem is that there’s a significant and insidious drawback to this way of shopping.
When you settle for ‘good enough’ or ‘practical,’ this feeling seeps into your experience of getting dressed and, before you know it, you feel indifferent (or worse) about your wardrobe and getting dressed loses some (or all) of its joy. But, it doesn’t have to be that way! Now it’s your turn! Open your closet. What do you see? Take a general inventory of what own (you can do this with a glance – you don’t have to take everything out) and separate them into one of four categories:
1. Love it and wear it.
2. Think you could love it if you knew what to do with it.
3. Doesn’t fit.
4. A mistake (This can include things that… Someone talked you into buying.· You bought on vacation but don’t really work in real life.· Someone gave to you (sweet, but not you!).· You thought would fill a need but don’t.· Don’t fit your lifestyle.· Are uncomfortable.·
Now, take another look at the four main categories and do a rough calculation of what percentage of your wardrobe falls into each category. Add up the percentage in categories two through four. This is the percentage of items in your closet that fall into the category of good enough, decent, okay, functional, practical, not terrible…the list goes on.
It’s easy to overlook the fact that they are taking up valuable space physically in your closet and in your heart and soul regularly affecting your energy. I suspect your ultimate wardrobe goal is: To love everything in your closet and wear it all with joy!
Settling for good enough and all its euphemisms undermines this, and you bear the burden on a daily basis. The reality can often be much different and this negative energy is very sneaky—it comes about one purchase at a time. I doubt that you set out to have a wardrobe that is good enough…it just happens little by little until one day you open your closet and realize that you only really love a small percentage of what’s in there…if that.
Before dismay and discouragement set in on this realization, let me assure you that:
1. You are not alone.
2. It’s all fixable.
How do you do that? Use this 4-step strategy:
Wardrobe strategy #1: Start with a Plan
The next time you go shopping, go with a plan in mind. Whether you enjoy shopping or not, it can also be easy to come home with things that don’t have a place in your wardrobe. There are many reasons, but some of the more common ones are because the price was amazing or the sales woman was helpful and you felt badly not buying something or you want to feel like you accomplished something in the time you spent shopping (that’s a biggie!).
When you shop with a plan you can be more efficient even if you come home empty-handed. Know what you are looking for and go with a mission!
Wardrobe strategy #2: Use These Questions Before Buying Anything
Ask yourself these questions before purchasing: 1. Does the color look great on me? 2. Does it fit or am I willing to have it tailored? 3. Is it comfortable? 4. Can I make a complete outfit with it? 5. Do I love it and does it make me feel fabulous when I wear it? As Marie Kondo would say, ‘Does it spark joy?’
Sure, there are other things to consider, but if you can’t say yes to all of these, there’s no reason to go any further.
Wardrobe strategy #3: Let Your Closet Inspire You
Before you go shopping and add more things to what you already own, take a look at your favorite things. Make sure you can answer yes to all the questions above when you assess each item. If you can say yes, then think about adding more things like it. Build on what you know you already like and feel fabulous wearing.
And Finally, Allow Enough Time
If you’d rather go to the dentist than go clothes shopping, it’s also likely you often wait until the last minute to shop for clothing you need. This sets you up for feeling overwhelmed and frustrated. It’s more than likely you’ll come home with something that’s only good enough rather than something you are truly excited to wear.
Make sure you plan ahead and give yourself enough time to find what you are looking for with less stress and more chance of feeling excited about what you get. (This one can often be the hardest step until you practice doing it a few times.)
We curate our MARKETPLACE with products tried, tested and loved by our Peaceful Living Wellness contributors.
We guarantee that we will only sell you products that we use ourselves!
What are the benefits of this approach? Here’s what several women have to say when they’ve followed this strategy:
“You can get dressed and go without having to try on 10 outfits before deciding what to wear!”
As Lisa shares, “You are correct in saying that if you take the time to work on a wardrobe, it will pay off in less time spent scrambling around in the morning trying to figure out what to wear.”
Nancy says, “It was such a shock to see clothes that actually looked fabulous on me instead of just OK!! Thank you so much for the eye opener.”
There are incredible benefits to becoming a ‘ruthless returner’ like Karen: “I am spending less time and money on things that are wrong, and more time just learning how to consider better possibilities, and am taking the time to try things on at the store. I then try them on again at home and have become a Ruthless Returner. If it’s not perfect, it’s clutter and it’s out the door before it gets hanger space. This feels fresh and light. I really, really like it.”
Imagine how much more gratifying it will be to get dressed when you open your closet to clothes that make your heart sing! What’s your next step?
1. Write down the steps above and keep them handy.
2. Use them to shop and you can even use the questions to weed out what is currently in your closet now that isn’t serving you.
3. Make a commitment to yourself that you will not buy anything that is ‘good enough’ going forward. And, if you find yourself falling into the ‘good enough’ trap again, give yourself a break and look at the steps above to see what you missed. Use it as a learning experience.
4. Celebrate your successes! This is SO important, especially if shopping is not one of your favorite pastimes. The more success you have the more you’ll enjoy getting dressed and the more you’ll feel excited to shop (well, at least not dread it) the next time! You get dressed at least once a day and you deserve to have this be a pleasant part of your day.
Once you follow these steps a few times they will become second nature and your wardrobe will begin to transform to more ‘love it and wear it’ options!
GINGER BURR
I’m Ginger Burr, founder of Total Image Consultants (www.totalimageconsultants.com), with a passion for empowering women to feel amazing about how they look! After more than 30 years of working with women and experiencing my own transformation prior to that (read more about this on my website (with pictures!), I’m well-acquainted both with the frustration that accompanies having a wardrobe you don’t love and the delight that comes with recognizing and embracing your own personal style.
If every morning you think, “I hope people will forget what I’m wearing,” it’s time for a change. In the beginning I couldn’t do it alone and you do not have to either. As one client said to me, “I’m tired of expending mental energy trying to figure out what to wear. It’s exhausting.” I can help you redirect that energy to create a wardrobe that makes your heart sing.
It’s a different journey for each person. That’s why I have many ways of supporting you from my book, ‘That’s So You! Create a Look You Love with Beauty, Style & Grace’ to my signature live online class, ‘Create Your Personal Style in 6 Weeks’ to working privately one-on-one with me. In each case, the basic elements are the same and you learn to dress with confidence without shedding pounds, sacrificing comfort or compromising who you are.
I am a graduate of Mount Holyoke College and a speaker and leader in the field of fashion and style. My experience and understanding of beauty trends and fashion has been celebrated by Allure Magazine, Fox TV News, The Boston Globe, MORE Magazine.com, cnn.com, Bloomberg Business Week, Forbes Magazine, and Worth Magazine and I have presented corporate seminars for some of the world’s most prestigious organizations including Harvard Business School, the U.S. Army and Unilever.
Above all, I have a heartfelt belief that whether you are 25 or 85, you deserve to feel radiant and pulled-together every time you get dressed. No matter where you live, what your lifestyle is like or how old you are, I delight in working with women who long to connect with their inner essence to create a wardrobe they love.
