Fear, in and of itself, is a useful tool as long as it doesn’t paralyze our progress. When it comes to your business or your life, if you aren’t scared sometimes, then you aren’t thinking big enough. Fear allows us to see solutions and accomplish greatness if we use it correctly.
Webster’s defines fear as – Noun: an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.
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Fear manifests itself differently for each of us. When I experience fear, it usually shows up as a weird pain in my chest that feels like a cross between an anxiety attack and like I’m about to break-down into tears. Anyone who knows me knows that I despise crying – although I’m trying to learn to embrace it – so they would understand just how uncomfortable a feeling all of this is to me.
By the way, men tend to be better at dealing with fear than women. Not because they don’t experience it but because they are usually more willing to plow through it. So here are four simple steps to help you obliterate your own fears.
- Feel it
Christian Mickelsen (www.coacheswithclients.com) says the first step in dealing with fear is to actually feel it and accept it. Some people feel it in their heads or face, some in their stomach, and as I said earlier, I feel mine in my chest. Getting out of your thoughts and connecting through the feeling in your body localizes the fear. Place your hand on the feeling without analyzing or over thinking it and accept the fear. Being present with your fear instead of writing it off, running from it, or ignoring it will allow you to deal with it.
- Categorize it
There are two categories of fear – real or imagined. After a fear has presented itself, ask yourself if this is a real fear or an imagined fear. If it is imagined and has no merit then it’s pretty easy to shake it off and move on. If it is a real fear, then move to the next step.
- Dissect it
If you determine that your fear is real, then we need to dissect the fear by first identifying the outcome we want and then second, breaking it down into the steps we need to take to work through it.
I’ll use a common fear as an example – public speaking.
You know it’s a skill you need to learn but you are terrified of getting in front of a group of people and potentially bombing a presentation. Your desire is not to develop a public speaking career but to be more confident in addressing groups of people whether in meetings at work or out in the community. This is a very real fear when you categorize it but you really need to develop this skill if you want to progress in your chosen field. You sit down and begin writing out the steps you need to take to work through this fear.
Notice I didn’t say to eliminate the fear – I said to work through the fear. The most successful people in the world aren’t fearless. They just know how to work through their fears. The steps you identify will help you to move through, but not necessarily eliminate the fear.
Back to the plan…As you think about what it will take for you to begin to successfully develop good public speaking skills, you identify the following steps:
- Identify people I think are good public speakers and note why I think they are good
- Schedule time with colleagues whom I feel are good at public speaking and ask them to share their methodology and approach for putting together interesting and engaging presentations
- Join a group like Toastmasters (www.toastmasters.com) or another group where I get opportunities to address the attendees, even in an informal setting
- Volunteer to lead a departmental meeting at work
- Develop a “signature” presentation
- Pitch your “signature” presentation to local groups or organizations starting with smaller audiences and then working up to larger venues
- Attack it
You have to keep moving to get out of a fear vortex. However, aimless movement or action for the sake of taking action is not going to be helpful. That is why the plan of action created in the previous step is so important. The world rewards those who take action so once your plan is developed, start working your plan. The successful completion of each step, regardless of the size of the step, builds confidence and momentum. And before you know it, you have pushed through whatever fear you were experiencing.
Fear stops most people in their tracks. Learning to harness fear as a tool for identifying solutions and as a litmus test for how large you are living life is an incredible skill and is what separates the magnificent from the mediocre. Let your faith be bigger than your fear and learn how to move through fear to greatness.
STACY OLDFIELD
After nearly 25 years in Corporate America, Stacy launched Minerva Management Partners as a way to combine those years of business experience with her life coaching certification and love for coaching women. Minerva Management Partners is a business coaching practice designed to support women entrepreneurs committed to launching and growing their business. Also, as a Results Coach with Robbins Research International, Stacy helps business women to focus their ideas and efforts and holds them accountable for achieving their goals. Whether it’s helping women discover creative solutions to their business challenges, coaching them to be clear and decisive, or helping them see and take action on new opportunities, Stacy guides them to achieve the business and career results they are seeking. Stacy is also the creator of the Minerva 3-Day Networking Challenge and the Network Like a Boss Lady On-Demand training program. Stacy has been invited to speak to many audiences within South Carolina including the Center for Women, Women Entrepreneurs of Charleston, the Women of the Workforce program of the Naval Information Warfare Center (SPAWAR), Charleston Women in Business, Association of Fundraising Professionals, SCANPO, graduate classes at both The Citadel and the College of Charleston (CofC), and Leadership CofC. She currently serves as a mentor through the Women of Excellence Program at Xavier University and previously served on the Board of Directors for the Beautiful Gate Center and on the advisory board of the SC Women’s Business Center.
