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PARENTING TEENS: Connecting to Intuition

Your intuition is your inner-wisdom. It can manifest as a grounding voice that guides you toward your truth or a quiet assurance of what is right.  Sometimes people refer to intuition as their “gut feeling” because it can be so profound that it is literally felt in the body.  

When you connect with your intuition you connect with a trusted guide for your most important decisions and simple choices. Your intuition becomes a loyal friend and wise teacher. It reveals your next steps, shows you the way through complicated situations, and illuminates solutions to life’s challenges.  It becomes one of your most important tools for life. 

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Everyone has intuition but connecting with it can be a challenge.  Minds are so often cluttered with to-do lists, worries about the past, and fears or anticipation of the future. Adding to that is a constant bombardment of extra “noise” from television, news, social media, and people who often proclaim to know what is best.  This can create stress and confusion and make it difficult to know what is true intuition.  

In my coaching practice, I often help young adults and teens connect with their intuition and learn to detach from the heavy influence of social media, celebrity influencers, and peers.  Like adults, when teens learn to trust their gut and follow their intuition, they are less likely to experience stress and overwhelm. They are content and clear on what is most important.  They make decisions with ease and self-assurance. 

The practices I teach my teen and young adult clients are useful for anyone at any age.  

Tune into your body.  

A wise teacher once told me, “the body is your barometer.” While the mind can easily get lost in superfluous thoughts, the body has an ability to be an anchor.  It can sense people, situations, and energy in a way that the mind simply cannot.   Consider a time you walked into a new situation and were overcome with a certain feeling. Perhaps it was a sense of calm and welcoming, or perhaps it was discomfort or fear.  Sometimes we refer to this as “the vibe” of a place or person. The feelings you get is your body’s way of communicating with you.   When you tune into your body you discover what is true and right.  

Sometimes your body’s signals can be so strong that you will immediately react.  For example, if you walk into a new situation and feel fear or discomfort, you might immediately leave.  But other times, you have to be more intentional about listening to your body, especially when it comes to making a difficult decision.  One of my favorite practices involves sitting on a chair with my spine straight and my bare feet connecting with the floor beneath me. I place a hand on my belly and a hand on my heart. I take several slow, deep, centering breaths. I scan my body and ask, what do I feel? Where is there tension? Where is their calm? If I am contemplating an important decision, I focus on the question and each choice I have.  As I visualize each choice, I tune into how my body feels and I imagine taking a particular action. I recognize which choice brings me a feeling of peace and which creates stress or tension in my body.  This practice always brings more clarity and calm.  

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Identify what is most important… to you! 

Although what you really want might seem obvious, it can be tainted by external influences and conditioning.  This is especially true for teens and young adults who feel pressure to follow a certain path or achieve a certain goal; a path and goal usually wanted by their parents.  Many adults also fall under parental expectations or childhood conditioning, despite years of living life independent from their parents.        

When it comes to identifying what is most important to you, there are two powerful questions to dig into- What do you really want? and What is your most ideal outcome? Before exploring the answers to these questions, get quiet and remove any distractions.  You may want to light candles or create an ambience that invites your mind to wonder about all that is possible.  As you embark on this intentional day-dream, tune into your body, notice what ideal outcomes feel best and become aware of the visions that spark contentment, happiness, and energy.  If you feel the pull from an outside pressure or old-story of what you “should” want, notice it and move back into what is true for you. 

Journal.  

A journal provides a private place to process experiences and declutter the mind so it is easier to connect with your inner-wisdom or intuition. There are many ways to journal so it’s important to choose an approach that works best for you and promotes a consistent practice. 

A journal practice I love sharing with my clients that is helpful for decluttering the mind is a stream of consciousness brain dump.  In this approach, you write down anything and everything that is creating stress, worry, fear, sadness, or rage.  It can be written in a way that demonstrates the emotion. For example, if you are flooded with anger, writing in large, bold, angry letters can help process the triggering experience while also releasing and softening the intense emotion.  

Another favorite journaling process is one that helps you gain a broader perspective of a situation. It involves describing the situation from different points of view.  For example, if you are worried about a situation at work, try writing about it from your perspective, from a colleague’s perspective, perhaps even from your partner’s perspective.  This can help you connect with a clearer and more helpful mindset and may reveal a different approach. 

Your intuition is a tool and the more you tune in with it, the more it becomes a part of you. You will find yourself naturally paying attention to your body and knowing without doubt what is most important for you. You will be drawn to journaling and seeking clarity and truth.  As your intuition becomes your guide, you will find yourself less stressed, more confident about your choices, and filled with a sense of trust.  

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