When I created the list of topics for this blog, I never imagined that I would be starting it at the end of one of the craziest two weeks – whew!
It is the afternoon of Friday, May 16th 2014. What are hopefully the last two of TEN WILDFIRES burning San Diego County are still burning with little containment around my beautiful hometown.
Thus far 12 homes and 1 business have been burned and there is reportedly one fatality. The smoke is billowing and the ash is swirling in the air and the Santa Ana winds are still blowing hard. Everyone is starting to breath a sigh of relief, but we’re not really willing to completely exhale the tension until the last of the fires goes out.
Interestingly, the stress of my week didn’t start with the fires. I started in the hospital with my ten-year-old son. Two weekends ago my husband and I took our kids to an incredibly expensive, but fun-filled, weekend at the Disneyland Resort.
Unfortunately, by midday Sunday my son wasn’t feeling very well, so we went home. It turned out that he had a low-grade fever. Thinking it was the flu we let him stay home from school and rest. But as the days went on, his fever and his symptoms went up. By Friday, when his fever went up to 104.5, we took him to the doctor.
By Saturday night he was admitted to the hospital with a blood infection. It turned out to Salmonella (No, we don’t know if it was from Disneyland). He was on IV antibiotics for two days.
We came home on Monday and on Tuesday I started to try to catch-up on rescheduling clients and getting to my computer work. Low-and-behold, on Wednesday we were called to pick our kids up from school and the one fire that was burning 30 miles from us (and wasn’t a threat) was now 5 fires and then within another two hours 6!
I don’t do well with fire. Growing up in a very dry area of San Diego County I watched my house nearly burn down several times. On the Wednesday in question we were so surrounded by fire there was only one freeway open and that was on it’s way to being closed. I was not only nervous about an escape route should the winds blow the fires closer to us (the closest was still 3 miles away), but I think I was having some extra stress with my childhood experiences coming back to haunt me a little. But, I had to keep calm for my kids’ sake. They were both nervous, especially my eight-year-old daughter.
So what’s a Stress-Relief coach to do? Well, first things first is always where I start. We don’t have air conditioning in our house so staying home was not an option in the 100 degree heat.
I went ahead with my plans for the day. We were out of food, and needed water in case of evacuation, so I went to Target! Now, my friends who are reading are probably laughing quite hardily right now. I love Target. There’s something about the bright white and red color scheme, the wide aisles, and friendly workers, that just cheers me up.
I think it also helped normalize things for the kids. In other words, first-things-first, to me means don’t panic and take care of what needs to be done. After Target we went home and very calmly packed a bag in case we had to evacuate. The kids and I talked about how it would just be for a little while, that we would go to grandpa and grandma’s in Riverside (about 90 miles to the north) and that it was really good that the freeway to Riverside had recently opened up.
We talked about how the dog and the cats would come with us. And then, when dad came home, because we weren’t in imminent danger of evacuation, and because it was still hotter ‘n hades, we went out to dinner at one of our favorite restaurants.
Before we went to bed that night my daughter asked me why I wasn’t scared about the fires. I told her I was a little scared, but that I was really grateful that we were all together, that we had a safe place to go if we needed to evacuate, and that we have a car big enough to take our whole family including the pets and some of our favorite stuff! I told her I was also grateful that her brother is feeling better and that she didn’t get what he had.
My husband and I really try to instill a value of gratitude in our kids. Through our experiences we have found that gratitude helps lift one’s spirits in times of stress or melancholy. So maybe gratitude was the second thing on my stress-relief list (after Target!), but first-things-first, second-things-second and so on keeps one focused on the present moment in the present conditions, instead of worrying about what might happen in the future or what may be happening elsewhere.
What are your stories of putting first-things-first? How do you handle stressful situations that are out of your control (like wildfires and food poisoning)?
P.S. I want to send out deeply felt gratitude to the men and women fighting these fires so valiantly and to all those who are supporting them. You are truly heroes!
P.S.S. Stay tuned for a future blog about how to have gratitude without feeling guilty about it AND sign-up for my e-newsletter with lots of helpful stress-reduction and wellness tips at www.peacefullivingwellness.com
