How to bring more mindfulness into our relationships?
What do we think of when we hear the word relationship?
Do we think of another person in our life who we will control and manipulate to be who we desire them to be?
Friend, I certainly hope not.
However, this is often where a relationship goes.
My awareness in my personal relationship with my husband has allowed me to realize that this person, was me.
Discover laughter yoga therapy with Brittney Hiller‘s Beginner’s Guide to Laughter Yoga.
As a bonus we will send you her instructional video on how to implement Laughter Yoga into your life to create more joy.
CLICK the button below and we will send your FREE guide and instructional video.
In the beginning of our courtship we were friends, buddies, besties even. But, eventually as time went on and we began to truly show ourselves to one another – I began to have this need to control.
I would yell, argue and spat to get my point across. Yet, in return, I would receive more space and more time apart from the man I truly fell in love with.
LESSONS FROM YOGA
It wasn’t until after my Yoga Teacher Training that I began to realize what I was doing to our relationship. I learned how the mindfulness practice of yoga could strengthen our relationship.
I was attempting to keep it my way instead of understanding what worked best for he and I as a team.
I realized soon that love didn’t mean gawky eyes, flowers and chocolate, or sweet random surprises; love meant getting messy and still seeing him as he is, even during the clean up.
We are humans. We do crazy things sometimes. And, if we are going to do this life together, we must learn to be malleable in the mess.
What I realized was that the relationship I was attempting to create – instead of just being in – was not the relationship I actually needed. The moment I let go of the need to control, my love began to have space to grow and heal, to expand and excel. Giving up control allowed him to be his amazing Self, which is who I desired to be with all along.
When we choose to control another or create expectations of them – we are often left defeated and resentful.
What if we let go of the reins in our relationship?
WE CAN LEARN FROM OUR FRIENDS
Lets look closely at the relationships we have with our best friends?
Let’s begin to notice how we treat them.
Notice how we often give space for our best friend to express themselves. We listen when they make a mistake, we do our best to help them overcome hardship. We love then for who they are regardless of their current situation.
Now, what if we did this with our partner?
Hold space for them when they need to vent instead of cutting them off with our own thoughts of how they “should” handle a situation.
What if we helped our partner overcome hardship with a simple “how may I help you with this?” inquiry instead of the “I can’t believe you did that…” comments?
FLOURISHING RELATIONSHIPS REQUIRE MINDFULNESS
When we take a beat and breathe when we would rather control and explain, we may experience a fresh new level with our partner.
We may actually give them the opportunity to realize what they said that may have angered us. And then they may in fact apologize.
If only for today, practice a mindfulness approach in your relationship and notice what shift happens.
Personally, while I take a breath, I repeat “I send you love” within my mind over and over. This combines mindfulness and energy transfer.
With this practice I have experienced a shift in both of us.
The tension releases, our nerves soften, the conversation calms, and eventually we come to a mutual understanding.
What will mindfulness in your relationship bring you today, I wonder?
When you are ready for a deeper dive into mindfulness for your relationships, read our own Editor-In-Chief’s article on Mindful Communication for Relationships!
To Your Best Relationships!
Brittney
BRITTNEY HILLER
Brittney is the creator of the Effervescence Yoga brand and the owner of Effervescense Yoga Spa in the beautiful resort town of Beaufort, South Carolina. Brittney is passionate about leading a life full of laughter and joy! That is why she is also a certificated laughter yoga teacher & laughter yoga leadership trainer. She is also a Follow-Your-Passion Coach and the producer and head talent of Flowcountry, the Lowcountry’s only streaming yoga show!
