Are you living life on your own terms? Or are you living according to someone else’s agenda and expectations?
If you answered, “no” or “not really,” this one’s for you!
I coach women who have been burning out in their lives for almost a decade. I’ve worked with dozens of women to help them feel more in control of their lives. So often women burn out because they have not only devoted their lives to supporting everyone else’s agenda — parents, husbands, kids, bosses — but because they’ve lost track of what brings them meaning.
They have forgotten what actually makes them feel alive!
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WE DO WHAT IS EXPECTED
When we are little, people always ask us what we want to be when we grow up. I remember responding with everything from “a pediatrician” to “a veterinarian.” Then I took algebra and realized that math-based vocations were not going to be a good fit for me 😉
My point is, when we’re young we have the power to imagine what we would LIKE to do! We are encouraged to think about what we will enjoy and be good at.
But then, for many of us, when we become adults we forget about our power to imagine what we would like and that makes us feel fulfilled. Instead, we do what is expected of us.
We forget about those things that make us excited. We forget about the things we once imagined would fill our lives with meaning and happiness.
Related Post: LIVING BEYOND BURNOUT: IS YOUR LIFE ONE LONG “TO DO” LIST?
BRINGING MEANING BACK INTO YOUR LIFE JUST TAKES A LITTLE IMAGINATION
You don’t have to quit your job, divorce your spouse, or start ignoring your kids in order to bring meaning back into your life. You just need to start with a little imagination.
Take a minute to sit down in a quiet space. You can close your eyes if you want to. Or, gaze out a window or up at the sky. Whatever you need to do to relax and allow yourself to daydream, go ahead and do it.
(Even if it means leaving your kids in their dad’s care for a little bit!)
Once you’re relaxed, go back in time… allow your imagination to drift back to those things you used to tell the grown-ups who asked, “what do you want to be when you grow up?”
Why did you think those would be good career paths for you? Did you want to be a dancer because you loved to dance? Did you want to be a police officer because you wanted to protect people and liked to feel brave?
In particular, what was it about those potential careers that seemed attractive to you as a child? You see, it’s not the career itself that necessarily will bring more meaning into your life. When you are a child it’s the feeling that is invoked in you when you think of doing those things as an adult. It’s the meaning that career would give to your life.
Related Post: GRATITUDE WITHOUT GUILT
IT’S NOT ABOUT THE CAREER, IT’S ABOUT THE MEANING
My desire to be a pediatrician or a veterinarian was something that came very early in my life. I think I came up with those as far back as the first or second grade. Of course I didn’t really know what those careers were like on a day-to-day basis. But, I knew that I liked how my pediatrician’s office seemed like a cheerful place and that doctors are very respected in our society. And I knew that I liked animals. I also had an innate understanding that I like to nurture others.
With the hindsight of an adult I can see that in my childlike way, I viewed these careers as bringing meaning to my life in several ways. First, they would give me status because I would be respected by others. Second, they would bring me happiness because I would be working in a cheery place, and in the case of animals, with something I loved very much. Finally, either of these careers would feel emotionally fulfilling because I would be nurturing either children or animals.
As you can see, it wasn’t the careers themselves that really mattered to me as a child. It was how I thought they would make me feel as an adult. What was important is that I saw those careers as adding fulfillment to my life and giving my life meaning.
ALLOW YOURSELF TO FIND MEANING THROUGH IMAGINATION
As you allow your imagination to drift back to your childhood what types of things come up when you think to yourself, “what would make my life feel like it is more meaningful? What can I do that will bring me that fulfillment I imagined as a child?”
Allow your mind to drift to different ideas. The more you relax into this imagination time the more your mind will open. The more you give yourself permission to allow your mind to wander you will find that there are ideas that come to you that are fun and exciting!
NOW – WRITE THEM DOWN!
YOUR NEXT STEPS TO BRINGING MORE MEANING INTO YOUR LIFE
Start by categorizing your ideas. You can use categories based on priority: High Priority = something you want to start doing as soon as possible! Low Priority = Something you want to start doing within 6 months to a year. Or, you can categorize based on the amount of time each thing will take.
For example, taking tennis lessons may take 1 hour per week; changing careers may take months of training and/ working with a career coach/ looking for the best job.
You can decide to use whatever categories work best for you.
Next, set a start date for when you will initiate your new activity. Make sure that you start soon. The more specific you can be about when you will start, the more likely you are to bring this new, important activity into your life!
Finally, write out a commitment statement to yourself about WHY you are trying these new things (or reintroducing some old things you love) in your life. Write on an index card how bringing this activity into your life will help you feel like your life is more meaningful and perhaps even that it will bring you joy. Then post the index card where you can see it every day as a reminder.
SOME HELPFUL HINTS
Don’t put off starting on your new activities until you have time. You will never have time. You need to make the time. You need to prioritize yourself. You deserve it!
Find an accountability partner. Enlist someone to keep you accountable to your new meaningful activities. Even better, have her do the same thing and keep each other accountable!
Do you need some help making the time for your new meaningful activities?
My online mini-course Breaking Busy: 5 Simple Steps to Slow Down, Rise-up & Feel More in Control of Your Life is designed for exactly that purpose – to help you find time for the things that are most important to you!
Do you need a supportive community to help you stay committed to living a life with more meaning? I have two options!
- Our FREE Facebook Group THE PEACEFUL LIVING COMMUNITY is a no-judgement allowed group where you get to set weekly goals, get lots of cheers AND ask for help and support when you need it.
- My BRAND NEW MEMBERSHIP ~ Empowered Through Peace: From Burnout to Bliss ~ Takes you step-by-step on a journey to find meaning, purpose and joy! PLUS it comes with its own PRIVATE Facebook Group.
Let me know in the comments how it goes! Share and inspire with us what your imagination brought up!
To Your Best Life!
Jen
JEN ROBINSON
Jen Robinson is the creative force behind the wellness brand Peaceful Living Wellness which is dedicated to providing a wide-variety of high-quality wellness information. Jen is also the creator of the Peaceful Living Wellness life coaching division, and offers workshops, individual and group coaching as well as retreats where she guides women in using Mindfulness and Mindset to build their inner strength on a foundation of inner peace. Jen also is the co-creator of the business coaching brand CEO Mindset that guides entrepreneurs in building their businesses without burning out.
The latest addition to her repertoire is that she recently signed-on as the Wellness Director for the business development company Wealthy Women Entrepreneurs . She is very excited to be leading this group of dynamic women entrepreneurs into success in their businesses and lives!
The most important part of Jen’s life are her two very active teenagers, AJ & Layna!
Jen’s Mindfulness and Mindset techniques inform her business, her parenting and her life!
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