Each March, as I’m thinking about writing my annual Women’s History Month blog, and all of the different ways I can write about why we need a Women’s History Month, I find myself incredibly inspired. This year’s topic – celebrating women’s courage through vulnerability – is especially inspiring for me thanks to the courage displayed by Meghan Markle (The Duchess of Sussex) through sharing her frank and heart-wrenching story of her struggle with debilitating anxiety and deep depression and how this led to Prince Harry and her leaving the Royal Family.
WATCH THE FULL INTERVIEW WITH MEGHAN AND HARRY HERE
When we study women’s history we see example after example of women making a difference in the world through expressing their vulnerability. From Abigail Adams’ “Remember the Ladies” letter to her husband John during the Continental Congress to Eleanor Roosevelt’s life-long political fight for the human rights motivated by her own struggles with low self-esteem and depression, to Oprah Winfrey’s openness about the physical, emotional and sexual abuse she suffered growing-up, women have used their stories of personal vulnerability to empower and inspire others to heal and rise-up from their own stories of struggle.
RELATED POST: VULNERABILITY: ASK AND YOU WILL RECEIVE
VULNERABILITY IS ESSENTIAL FOR LIVING A FULL LIFE
In her viral TED Talk “The Power of Vulnerability” Brené Brown shares how her research illustrates that allowing yourself to be vulnerable is essential for living with, “joy, creativity, belonging and love.”
I’m not sure if it’s human nature or human nurture, but it seems that the automatic reaction of most humans to the idea of sharing their vulnerability is one of fight-or-flight:
“HELL NO! I’m not vulnerable! Who do you think you are asking me about my vulnerabilities?”
Or
“No, no, I’m fine. I know what my issues are and how to deal with them.” Or, “I’m doing great! No worries at all!”
And yet, we see the evidence of the pathologies of stress, anxiety and depression throughout our society. Stress-based diseases from addiction to heart disease and stroke are at all-time highs.
We are a society cowering from the truth of our struggles and hiding from the truth that we are vulnerable human beings.
And yet, the evidence is clear that sharing our vulnerability is essential for healthy, happy, abundant living!
Brené’s research uncovered that those who are living what she terms “Wholehearted Lives,” are people who are willing to be vulnerable. And, in their vulnerability they have the “courage to be imperfect, the compassion to be kind to themselves first and then to others,” and they have “connection with others” through their willingness to be authentically themselves.
How would that feel for you?
How would it feel to have the courage to be imperfect, compassion for yourself and others, and deep connections with others based on being authentically yourself?
These are elements for living a full and joyous life! And this type of life is gained from having the courage to be vulnerable.
RELATED POST: VULNERABILITY IS NOT VICTIMHOOD
MEN, WOMEN AND THE COURAGE TO BE VULNERABLE
As a former professor of Political Science, with a specialty in gender and sexuality law, it amazes me how different men and women have been through history when it comes to showing vulnerability.
The idea of vulnerability equaling weakness was, and still is, a standard for men in American culture. Whether you look at Theodore Roosevelt’s famous quote, “speak softly and carry a big stick,” or John F. Kennedy’s “ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country,” the belief that self-care is not important, and force is, has been the backbone of the ideal of American Exceptionalism. We must pull ourselves up by our bootstraps, we must never ask for help, we must at all costs, even self and family, defend our country.
Perhaps Abigail Adams put the ideology of the American male most succinctly when she said, “That your sex is so naturally tyrannical is a truth so thoroughly established as to be of no dispute…” (Letter from Abigail Adams to John Adams, 31 March, 1776)
Women’s lack of access to rights, their socially determined vulnerability, on the other hand, became a rallying cry for the women’s rights movements throughout history! By expressing that women are vulnerable, and finding empathy for the struggle of women across social classes, feminists throughout the history of the U.S. have fought for political change on behalf of women.
To me, what is most interesting about the “women are vulnerable” political rally cry is that it is predicated on the same ideas as the founding principles of the country – the natural rights of (hu)mans.
American feminists – and truthfully feminists throughout the world – take the male-derived social construction that women are vulnerable, therefore they are weak, and turn it on its head. Instead, the feminist argument is underpinned with the ideology that women are actually incredibly courageous because they are willing to talk about their vulnerability within a conversation about rights.
#ME TOO, MEGHAN MARKLE AND OTHER ACTS OF COURAGE THROUGH VULNERABILITY
“I have met brave women who are exploring the outer edge of human possibility, with no history to guide them, and with a courage to make themselves vulnerable. That I find moving beyond words.”
~ Gloria Steinem
When Taranna Burke founded her non-profit Just Be Inc., to support and provide guidance for victims of sexual assault she had no idea that her organization’s mantra, “Me Too,” would be become a worldwide movement of women displaying incredible courage and empathy not only that they too had been sexually assaulted, but also included sexual harassment and discrimination.
The #MeToo hashtag and social movement gained international attention when actress Alyssa Milano tweeted about her story of sexual assault and asked others to join her so that they could bring attention to the magnitude of the problem.
This is yet another example of the courage of women who shared their vulnerability, who encouraged empathy, and subsequently changed hearts, minds and public policy!
And finally, the most recent example of incredible courage in sharing vulnerability, actually comes from both Meghan Markle and Prince Harry. Their courage to speak out about the incredible damage that can be done to a person’s emotional and mental health through the outspoken vitriol of others is laudable. They not only spoke out about Meghan’s struggles with anxiety, depression and suicidal ideation, but they spoke out against how Harry’s family’s lack of concern and support finally drove them to separate from the Royal Family and leave royal life.
To some this may seem like “first world problems.” But, I assure you it’s not. The emotional and mental health of people are damaged every day through both the overt and covert maliciousness and negative criticism of others. Whether the criticism is dealt within a person’s inner circle, through social media, or from their community it is damaging to the psyche.
So, when Meghan and Harry display the courage to talk about their stress, Meghan’s mental health, and their very difficult decision to leave royal life they are actually leading the way for all of us to be courageous in sharing our vulnerability, and thus receiving help and support to heal. Their courage to show empathy for others struggling with feelings of a lack of self-worth is a gift not only to those people, but to all people who have or may in the future struggle with emotional and mental health challenges.
Here’s my advice for us all:
Speak loudly and don’t worry about the big stick!
In Support of You!
Jen
JEN ROBINSON
Jen Robinson is the creative force behind the wellness brand Peaceful Living Wellness which is dedicated to providing a wide-variety of high-quality wellness information. Jen is also the creator of the Peaceful Living Wellness life coaching division, and offers workshops, individual and group coaching as well as retreats where she guides women in using Mindfulness and Mindset to build their inner strength on a foundation of inner peace. Jen also is the co-creator of the business coaching brand CEO Mindset that guides entrepreneurs in building their businesses without burning out.
The latest addition to her repertoire is that she recently signed-on as the Wellness Director for the business development company Wealthy Women Entrepreneurs . She is very excited to be leading this group of dynamic women entrepreneurs into success in their businesses and lives!
The most important part of Jen’s life are her two very active teenagers, AJ & Layna!
Jen’s Mindfulness and Mindset techniques inform her business, her parenting and her life!
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