Parenting Is Hard. That’s It. That’s the Title. (Reflecting on Life 6 Years Ago).
I found this writing from 6 years ago and had to reflect back upon this phase of life. They all have their own challenges and triumphs, their ups and downs. Wow, if only this Amanda knew what she knows now…
6 Years Ago:
All you single Mommas…(Sang to “All the Single Ladies.”)
Well, I will add Daddies, too, because either way it is flipping hard!
How do you do it? No really, how?
I sit here at 11:15 pm, the baby keeps stirring and whining in her sleep. I want to run away and hide in a cocoon. One with lots of blankets and maybe some soothing white noise to drown out any high-pitched, “Mommmmy!” screams.
Is that going to happen? No, of course not, but it sounds wonderful.
You see, I am lucky. I have a husband who is extremely helpful with the kids. If the kids get up during the night, we take turns. Yes, there were times I was practically pushing him out of bed. But now that we’re onto baby #3, he kind of knows how this all plays out. It’s glorious and I honestly cannot imagine any different.
Well, except for times like the present. Times when he is away for work in California. And here I am in dark, cold, dreary Ohio with three kids and two other living creatures (our two boxers, Joezie and Joeker) depending on me to feed and water them. Dammit!
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What life looks like these days:
During these trips, I seriously count down the days until he is home. It feels like forever and a day until he walks back in that door with a warm hug and helping hands. I can’t really tell you that it’s because I miss his company so much. I can’t say we’re just so helplessly in love that I cannot live without him. No, I’m pretty sure I need adult interaction and I cannot wait to throw the kids at him and run far far away. Don’t get me wrong, there was a time when we were that in love, and being away from him just hurt. I just have a hard time these days deciphering if my aching heart may just be the full-body aching tired that you feel when you are raising three kids and there are constantly two dogs at your feet. Seriously–how do you Single Mommas do it?
I really try to put on a show, like I know what I am doing. I mean, hell, I used to run a preschool out of my home, for God’s sake. But let’s be honest–that time in my life was chaos and some days I don’t know how I got through it.
Have you been here too, Single Mommas?
Single Mommas and Daddies, do you ever just get up in the morning and think, “Shit! Am I ready for another day like this? I mean, can my nerves even handle the constant bickering and whining that my kids are about to bring forth?!”
My kids are a mess some days. I often wonder, “Do all people deal with this level of chaos, or are they just trying to make me feel better by saying that they do?”
Most mornings I have a baby clinging to all that I am. I usually have a jumble of greasy hair that has the promise of being washed once I get my rowdy boys on the bus. I’m over-caffeinated. I walk in the room not remembering what I was intending to do. I’m trying to be stylish, yet only want leggings and comfy sweaters. That’s the type of mom that I am.
Slowly but surely, it gets easier.
Tristan is pretty good these days about waking up with a semi-smirk on his face. Still, sometimes I wonder if he’s just scheming what he’ll say to piss off his brother. But maybe he’s actually more of a morning person than he ever was before. And Grayson? Well, every morning it’s a crap shoot. Sometimes he wakes up as sweet as pie and ready for anything. Other mornings he wakes up with a chip on his shoulder (Tristan’s antics) and the ability to whine about every minute possibility.
Is this the norm? Are there actual children out there who wake up with their sweet little angelic faces, prancing around, listening to their parents, and performing mundane tasks like it’s their job? Where do these children live–and can I trade? Totally kidding. I love my babies, but I truly do wonder what it’s like to not live in a chaotic home.
Some mornings I can handle the chaos and I just tune out the crazy and get it done. Other mornings I feel bat shit crazy and lose my shit on the constant. So, I guess I can’t get upset with my children if their Momma is just the same. So here’s to the Single Mommas and Daddies–you’re doing great!
AMANDA BIRD
Amanda is a social media manager for Peaceful Living Wellness and assists in graphic design and product merchandizing with the Peaceful Living Wellness Brand. She is also a coaching trainee with Peaceful Living Wellness whom looks forward to working with Parents of children with Special Needs.
She is now a blogger for the Peaceful Living website and also has her own mental health blog at www.awordfrommommabird.com. There you can find real, raw stories about raising a child with special needs, living with chronic illness and overcoming mental health struggles along her journey with some sprinkles of humor.
She has been married to her husband Shannon for 16 years and they have 3 beautiful, active children that are the ages 13, 11 and 6. They tend to have a menagerie in their home but they currently house a boxer that was a rescue, a redefined barn kitty, a studious bearded dragon and sassy parakeet.
You can usually find Amanda volunteering for the kids’ latest school fundraiser, opening up a food pantry in her driveway (totally normal) or running her kids to their latest and greatest after school extra-curricular, among other things. She enjoys supporting her community and currently has a support page active on Facebook for parents of children with special needs.
