Every January, those who want natural development and expansion in their lives write down lists of goals. Our American culture particularly encourages and supports people going after their dreams. But most of us know the feeling of dreams and goals turning to overwhelm. We set out with good intentions and create morning routines that begin at 5 AM, add more strenuous exercises and restrictive diets to our already strenuous and restricted lives, say “yes” to all the requests from work, the neighborhood, the family, and the kids’ schools, and wonder why our best intentions make us feel unhappy, uncentered, and out of sorts.
It might be because we built all of our best dreams, goals, and resolutions on motivation. Motivation comes from watching the YouTube influencer tell us who we ought to be and the “Five Easy Steps” to get there. Motivation is deciding we need to have the bank account of the neighbor, the travel plans of the Facebook friend, and the toned physique of the supermodel. Motivation tries to beat us all into submission but it is never going to bring fulfillment and joy. It isn’t intended to; rather it is intended to keep us uncentered and spending money and time in distracted, addicted ways.
Motivation is cultivated in our consumeristic, capitalistic society. It is the empty promise that says: “You are fundamentally broken, flawed, or lacking in a major way. You are unworthy and unloveable as you are. But don’t worry. Now that you’re feeling deeply insecure, I will show you the remedy. Just buy this, sign up for that, wear this, eat that, go here, work there, say this, think that – and all of your problems will go away. You will finally be worthy. You will finally be lovable. You will finally be happy.” This message is all around us and it has been from birth. Don’t be shocked that this lives deep inside you. It is designed to do so. Now that you know this, you will probably see it easily and everywhere.
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There is a better alternative to motivation.
Running on motivation is not the only way to live. The spiritual life is a radical departure from messages that bring us psychological death. You will know healthy spirituality by its fruit. It will help you feel joy, peace, centeredness, calm, stability, clarity, and love. Healthy spirituality is not built on motivation. Healthy spirituality does not tell you that you are fundamentally broken and need the product or service a corporation has to offer. Healthy spirituality does not say: “Just buy this, sign up for that, wear this, eat that, go here, work there, say this, think that – and all of your problems will go away. You will finally be worthy. You will finally be lovable.” It says: “There is nothing to do. You are already worthy and lovable. You just might have forgotten.”
I’m a pastor. Obviously, I promote what I love and treasure. I say, “Come to church, people! Here we can love and support you. Maybe also sign up for the church field trip and the class and the service project!” So I am sure it certainly appears that I am trying to motivate people. But I’m not; not really. What I speak of hundreds of times more than any: “Do this! Do that!” is “Please, stop all the doing. Slow down, reduce the noise, reduce the consumption, reduce the grudges held and the pushing one another to do and be and think like us, or me, or you.” I am much more interested in the path of minimizing than the path of maximizing. This is the spiritual walk. Don’t do so much. Don’t think so much. Don’t work so hard. “Be still and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10).
But I don’t say all this “Be still” encouragement so that people won’t expand. On the contrary, I say this so people will hear the voice of God/the Divine/ the Holy. When we get the sleep we need, quiet the TV, social media, and emails, when we listen to our own breath and beating hearts, we attune ourselves to the timeless rhythm of what is sacred and healing. We put ourselves on a frequency that matches the divine frequency. Then we can allow the inspiration to flow in.
Are you ready to trade motivation for inspiration?
Try this. When you wake up, before checking the news, YouTube, Facebook, Instagram, or emails, check in with yourself. Place your hand over your own heart, close your eyes, breathe slowly and deeply, and affirm to your own spirit that you are here and you are listening. Take a bath and get ready for the day slowly and quietly. Later sometime, take a walk in nature – even if nature is just a few trees in your neighborhood. Look at the trees closely. Look at the flowers, the grass, the sky. Affirm to the world that you are here, and you are listening. When you drive in your car, look at whatever is natural around you. I live near LA, and yet there is still natural beauty to be seen from the freeways. The sky is always changing. Birds are flying. Trees abound. Look at them and affirm that you are part of nature, just as they are, and you are listening. If you speak to God, however you understand God to be, tell God that you are hear and you are listening.
It won’t be long before an idea will occur to you – someone to call, a project that might be fun to try at work, a good meal to plan, and gift to deliver. This idea will feel pleasant and worthwhile. It won’t feel like another chore. It won’t make you feel sad or badgered, like you must do this task to find worthiness. Instead, it will feel like an extension of your natural worthiness to take up this task. When I have been in this state, I have heard all kinds of guidance. In this state, I have heard what to do and not do. I have heard clear calls and subtle ones. You have heard this, too, probably when you were relaxed and attentive to your own self. Of course, none of us follows all of this guidance perfectly, and we all make mistakes. Grace abounds for each of us, and we can try again the next day. This is how inspiration works. It does not push us like motivation. It pulls us like love.
This year, be productive, expansive, and happy.
May your 2023 be a year of healthy spirituality, however you define it. May your heart be filled to overflowing with joy, peace, love, and light. May you ditch the tiring and troublesome motivation for energizing and refreshing inspiration. May you know you are already worthy and loved and you don’t need to change a thing; however, you will be called to grow simply for the fun of it.
STEPHANIE LAPE
Stephanie Lape is a pastor in the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America (ELCA).
She holds a Master of Arts degree in Transpersonal Psychology (the psychology of religious experience) from the Institute of Transpersonal Psychology, and a Master of Divinity degree from Luther Seminary. A long-time professor of comparative religions and former campus minister, she now serves as pastor at Eden Lutheran Church in Riverside, California.
Stephanie speaks and teaches on matters of spiritual and psychological development, biblical studies, the enneagram personality tool, and comparative religions. She is an active advocate for interfaith and ecumenical studies. She has taught classes on major religious movements in churches, schools, and city programs, while also leading tours and guest speaking at mosques, synagogues, and temples. Stephanie is honored to be a speaker at the 2021 and 2023 Parliament of the World’s Religions.
She also loves to write. Stephanie is a contributing author for Living Lutheran Magazine and author of Beckoned: Hearing God’s Call to Deeper Faith, which is both a travelogue of her own winding spiritual journey, as well as a guide to help people discover their own path. She lives with her husband and two children in Southern California.
