This post is about a special kind of clutter. You probably wouldn’t classify these items as clutter because you love them so much.
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I am talking about things you hold on to, that you really love, but that you never use because you save them up for “special occasions.”
Here are the categories of clutter:
- things you don’t use or love
- things that are untidy or disorganized
- too many things in too small a space
- anything unfinished
It’s very subtle. Most of the time when we think of clutter in the first category we think of things that we don’t love and don’t use. But I want to make you aware that you most likely own things you do love but don’t use.
A while back, I came across an article that was talking about this phenomenon and they were calling it the “Specialness Spiral”.
The person who wrote this article was talking to Wharton Marketing Professor Jonah Berger. Professor Berger and Assistant Marketing Professor Jacqueline Rifkin of the University of Missouri-Kansas City’s Henry W. Bloch School of Management did a study and then wrote a paper together called
“How Nonconsumption Can Turn Ordinary Items into Perceived Treasures,”
They suggested (as I mentioned already) that you’d probably find items that you have purchased in the last year or two that you haven’t used yet, like maybe a pair of shoes you were saving for just the right occasion, or the good towels that you only put out for overnight guests which you might not have had because of the pandemic, and they suggest, that If you haven’t used these things by now, there’s a pretty good chance you never will but ends up with piles of clutter.
In the article Prof. Berger talked about a pair of ‘interview shoes’ that he bought and wore for a job interview and then never again because he loved them so much that he wanted to save them for the right occasion. The right kind of special occasion never came; eventually he got rid of the shoes because they went out of style. That’s an example of the specialness spiral.
Now to his credit, he did get rid of the shoes after a while because they were clutter. What I come across a lot when I help my clients is that they have such ‘perceived treasures’ but they are not willing or able to let them go.
In the interview, Prof. Berger goes on to say he noticed this with other items he had as well, even with socks, and so he got curious whether that was just him being weird or if that was a common consumer behavior.
That’s when he did the study with Jacqueline Rifkin and they did for example an experiment with an ordinary $12 bottle of wine and learned: if the participants didn’t use that wine one time because they were thinking the occasion is not special enough, they started to see the wine as a little more special than before.
Then because they saw this bottle of wine as a little more special than before, when the next opportunity arrived where they could have used the bottle, they would think “Well, maybe this is not a good enough opportunity,” and didn’t use it once again and the item became again a little more special, and this is how the specialness spiral was born.
Now back to you.
You most likely have items in your home and/or in your closet that are caught up in this specialness spiral. I can give you some more examples
Where this specialness spiral shows up when I help my clients is often in the closet or shoe cabinet. They have clothes and shoes that they never wear because they’re reserved for special occasions and as we learned, the more you are not wearing these clothes and shoes the more special they become and the less likely you’re actually ever going to wear them.
Another example, do you have dishes and silverware that you only use when you have guests? And since you rarely have guests and if you do it’s mostly family and friends you decided that was not a special enough occasion and you still don’t use these dishes and silverware? We had some of those when I grew up.
Something they didn’t mention in the article but that I always thought about these special dishes when growing up is that it’s kind of a mean thing to do to ourselves.
It’s basically a message to ourselves that we by ourself are not special enough, that our day to day lives are not special, somebody special has to show up or something special has to happen first.
This goes into the same notion that we only start cleaning and tidying the house when guests are coming. For them everything has to be clean and perfect while we just lived in chaos and disorganization again implying to ourselves that we are not as important as the guests are.
This is another reason why I say clearing clutter is self-love, because we’re not just making our surroundings presentable and nice when we expect visitors, we are doing it first and foremost for us.
The next step is we use the good dishes, wear the nice clothes and beautiful shoes because they make us feel good, and we deserve it, we are special, and today – everyday – is special.
As a result, we need less things and we love what we have and we use what we have. We don’t go buy new things because the things we have are deemed too special for us to use.
As a result, the money we don’t spend can be saved or used for something else. It is also good for the planet because when we only buy one kind of item and not one for special (that we never use) and one for normal, we can buy better quality and we can make sure it wasn’t produced hurting the planet or abusing laborers.
So, pay attention next time you catch yourself not using something or not wearing something because you feel it’s too special. Always remember: Use and wear the things you love, you are worth it, you are special and every day is special.
CONNY GRAF
Conny Graf is a Swiss certified Expert in Finance & Accounting, a certified Clutter Clearing Practitioner, Astrologer, Coach, Podcaster and the founder and owner of From Chaos to Peace Consulting Inc.
She’s helping people create supportive, clutter-free environments in their home, office, files, and finances but more importantly, she helps them develop habits and systems that prevent clutter from creeping back in. Clutter Clearing is not just about purging and organizing, it’s about exploring and releasing the limiting beliefs we tell ourselves and the stories that keep us stuck in the past. Dealing with clutter brings us up-to-date with who we are right now and where we are heading in your life and business while being organized is simply a side-effect.
Her mission is to help people understand that decluttering is self-love, and a few minutes a day keep the clutter away. Come on a journey from chaos to peace with ease.
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