It’s necessary to understand the difference between fashion and style. I find it’s important to define them often so that women can see that the fashion industry isn’t the one in charge of your style.
In the immortal words of Oscar de la Renta, “Fashion is about dressing according to what’s fashionable. Style is more about being yourself.”
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Fashion is what designers create seasonally – they like what they designed and they want you to wear it.
Fashion is what shops and stores hang on their walls, fold on their tables and dress their mannequins in.
Fashion is what brands post on social media to tempt you to buy from their sites.
Fashion is an idea. A concept.
STYLE is taking fashion and making it your own. It’s about finding what works for you and how you want to look.
Style is ultimately – YOU.
But it’s not about you…
More often than not, I find many women blame themselves for have the “wrong” body for a trend, or that they could never pull off a look. They see clothing that they like but are afraid to try. They don’t want to go through the disappointment or self-loathing they feel when none of the looks they love fit them.
It’s not you. It’s the clothing.
The fashion industry hasn’t evolved – sure, they talk about inclusivity of all shapes and sizes. But that simply is not true. Brands still create their looks based off of a smaller sized woman. That woman has smaller breasts, straighter lines, smaller hips and thighs. And that’s just not the typical woman. We have curves, some of us have larger breast, some have wider hips, bigger thighs – and many of us have all of that! And we need to celebrate that. Regardless of what the fashion world wants us to believe.
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But HOW to Heal?
Unfortunately, we as women have been hit throughout our lives with the concept of the perfect female body. It has been burned into our minds that we are not the right type. So why try? Because you deserve to know that you are perfectly you and that all those looks you love can be yours.
When I owned my denim boutique, women would enter the shop hell bent on proving they could never wear jeans. Because these ladies (as most have gone through) have felt the shame of not fitting into an article of clothing they really want. The constant disappointment had worn away at their self-esteems and given them a complex about specific types of clothing.
I always happily took their challenge – and still do with my clients.
Many times it was simply explaining the style of jeans that would work best with their body type – and convincing them to try with an open mind. I also explained that the parts of their body they didn’t like in jeans, was not noticed by anyone else. It was about teaching them that it isn’t their body that doesn’t fit into a specific jean, it’s the jean that doesn’t fit them.
Flipping the script…
So how do we find happiness in our own style? It’s confronting that body shame we have learned throughout our lives. I know you’re probably chuckling, “yeah, right.” But only then can we feel freedom to create our own personal style.
Many of my clients come to me already defeated by the trends and styles they love but feel they can’t wear. Ladies with larger chests who love that breezy, dreamy boho chic style feel they can’t wear the more delicate styles in that trend. And this is when I teach them to flip the script.
It’s not your breasts that don’t fit the trend, it’s how the trend is portrayed in their catalogs and online that makes you THINK you can’t wear it. The bralettes that these brands create that probably don’t hold up bigger breasts aren’t the only bralettes out there. There are companies who are taking on the bralette for larger breasts conundrum and they are doing it right. Every few days I receive e-mails from Maidenform about their larger cup bralettes. Because there is a need and there will always be someone who wants to fill that need.
Before you decide you aren’t the “right” body type, remember that there are ways to fit a style or trend to your body. It’s not you, it’s the clothing.
Jennifer Ginty is a certified image consultant and personal stylist with years of experience helping women and men define their own style with wardrobe organization and personal shopping. Jen has consulted with everything from casual wear such as jeans and tops to styling for the corporate world.
“I love what I do. Some may see my career as a luxury for other people, or maybe as “extra.” But it’s so much more than what you see on the outside. For my clients and for me.”
Style is a form of self care – a way to express yourself without even speaking. Through self-introspection and just having fun, you can bring out your true self effortlessly.
It’s about dressing for the way you live and feeling great about it.
Ever feel like you just need to make a few changes in your wardrobe or maybe you feel lost when it comes to what to wear? Jen is a certified image consultant and personal stylist with years of experience helping women and men define their own style with wardrobe organization and personal shopping.
