As a teenager, I was kind of boy crazy. Scratch that – I was really boy crazy. Some of my earliest memories in kindergarten and first grade were of chasing boys. In fact, I was so boy crazy in my teens I was given the nickname of stalker by one of the boys I chased. It wasn’t in a creepy, put-me-in-jail kind of way. It was certainly more endearing than that, but nonetheless I was pretty desperate in how I pursued him.
But I loooooove him – Why doesn’t he love me back?
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It definitely wasn’t love. Infatuation is much a better description.
I had no idea that if I stopped trying so hard and started being myself, I would naturally attract the kind of attention I was so desperately chasing.
Do you ever feel like an infatuated teenager when it comes to your relationship with money?
I mean you really, really, really want it to like you. You flirt with it. You chase it. You even profess how much you want it in your life. But it feels like money doesn’t seem to want to spend quality time with you?
Just like the infatuated teenager, sometimes trying harder isn’t always the answer.
True love is built on mutual respect, quality time, and understanding each other’s needs on a deep level. As true love blossoms, you become best friends.
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To become best friends with your money, let go of the desperation, and start putting in quality time. Get to know your money on a deeper level. Acknowledge your emotions around money.
If money was your best friend, how would you describe the relationship? Is it loving or is it dysfunctional? Are you constantly saying bad things about money? Do you expect it to show up when you need it? Do you ignore money and then wonder why it never shows up?
Show your money some love!
Have regular dates with your money. Set aside time to look at your numbers. This might be as simple as looking at your bank balances once a day or even once a week. Just be consistent.
Give you money some TLC. Make peace with your money. Forgive money for the times it wasn’t there for you. Forgive yourself for the times you didn’t show your money enough respect, or any mistakes you made with money.
Show gratitude to money when it shows up. Nothing is more magnetic than gratitude. Instead of feeling like there is never enough, focus on what you do have and your ability to generate more. Stop feeding the scarcity monster.
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Stop chasing money, because it only makes it run. Let go of desperation and the feeling you have to work so hard to get money. Be your true, authentic self, and let money naturally be attracted to you. Focus on receiving what wants to flow to you.
Be gentle with yourself – most of us aren’t taught how to have a healthy relationship with money. Feelings of guilt, shame, and fear are much more common than love.
Remember that working on your relationship with money is a journey. It’s ok to be right where you are. Take baby steps. As you give you and your money time and grace, your relationship will blossom. And as my best friend always says: Grown up love is awesome!
Carolynn Bottino is an author, speaker, and founder of the Money Empowerment Project®. Her international best-selling book of The Land of Plenty: A Soulpreneur’s Guide to Finding Joy, Possibility and Abundance through Money Empowerment was featured on the Spirited Woman’s top 12 book pick list for 2020.
After empowering more than 100 clients in her bookkeeping business, she discovered her passion helping soulpreneurs find joy around their money. Carolynn approaches money from a practical and holistic standpoint, with no judgement, helping you find abundance and transform your relationship with money.
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