Do you have a stack of self-help and personal development books on your nightstand, waiting to be read?
You’re not alone. 18.6 million self-help books were sold in 2019 (source: Publishing Perspectives) and in 2018, self-help audiobook sales revenue reached $769 million. (source: Market Research) According to Goodreads, 62.5% of self-help readers are women.
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It seems that every month brings another “life-changing” book. They are passed around at book clubs, and back when we could easily go into a physical bookstore (ah, those were the days), they were front and center near the entrance.
So it makes you wonder – with so many personal development and lifestyle gurus putting out so many books, why are women still searching for something that will help them make lasting changes in their lives?
1. With all the hype, it’s hard to discern whose message is for you.
What’s the magic solution? Do you need to figure out how to meditate more – or maybe you’ve been doing it all wrong? What if you absolutely hate sitting meditation? What about yoga? Breath work? Hey, how about essential oils? Are you a failure at this self-help thing?
2. The books tell you that you’re not doing the right things, and it’s an easy process to fix your problems.
You know the books, the ones that claim that, with three easy steps, you can reclaim your personal time, tap back into your independent pre-wife/mother identity, and somehow find time to become a top influencer in your industry.
You just have to wake up at 4:30 am so that you have a couple of hours before the kids wake up and you have to start your day to meditate/breathe/do yoga/start a Mommy blog, make sure that you’re getting enough cardio, and have enough energy and desire to make sure that you have a daily orgasm.
Many of these types of books are written by women, and comparison paralysis is real, y’all. If you picked up that book in the hope of simplifying your life or reaching some semblance of spiritual alignment, and yet you can’t make your life look like that woman’s Instagram feed by following her advice, you may have tossed the book across the room or added it to the donation pile. Or worse – you put it on your bookshelf and you feel shame every time you see the book’s spine.
3. Many self-help books aren’t written with women in mind.
A large majority of self-help authors are men. As a matter of fact, on the day that I’m writing this, there are only 3 women authors in the top 20 books sold in the self-help category on Amazon.com.
The top three topics in self-help are “Confidence’ (10.2%), “Career/Interview” (7.8%) and “Motivation (7%). It’s not that women aren’t interested in these topics – of course we are – but we are also interested in stress-management, deepening our spiritual practices, connecting more deeply with each other and with our partners and families, and finding space to take better care of our mental and emotional health.
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So what’s a woman to do?
How much did you spend on those books last year? What about the apps and memberships that you purchased, hoping that they would help you make a real change? How many of us are on the constant pursuit of the perfect planner to organize our lives, or eagerly purchase the supplements and essential oils that everyone is talking about? How much does your search for self-care and personal/spiritual development cost you to deliver so-so results? Go ahead. Add it up.
Now, choose to try something different.
Consider taking that money and invest in working with a teacher or coach one-on-one.
Instead of general suggestions meant to appeal to the greatest number of readers, a teacher or coach’s job is to listen to you, your needs, what’s working and what isn’t, and then help you with your specific needs within the reality of your life.
For the duration of your coaching session or lesson, the focus is YOU and how you want to grow. There is a trained and knowledgeable coach or teacher for everything you can think of – Mindset coaches, Soul coaches, Financial Freedom teachers, Empowerment coaches, Life Management coaches and yes – meditation, yoga, and breathwork teachers. What do you need? Do you know? There are coaches who can help you figure that out too.
Imagine sustainable and lasting change for whatever you know is either missing or off-kilter in your life.
Imagine not scrolling Amazon or scouring bookshelves or hoping that the woman sitting next to you at your child’s gymnastics class actually knows what she’s talking about when she suggests a book.
Imagine feeling that you have achieved the changes you’ve been hoping for all this time.
The right teacher won’t change your life – she’ll help you do it.
Sarah Familar-Ragsdale is a High Priestess and Teacher of the Divine Feminine. She assists women in discovering and pursuing their Soul calling through 1:1 mentorship and coaching sessions, intuitive readings, workshops and courses on Priestesshood and the Divine Feminine,
and spiritual retreats. Along with her wife, Mina, she is co-founder of Seva Body Mind Soul, a whole Self wellness center located in Charleston, South Carolina.
