When was the last time you did something spontaneous, just for the fun-of-it?
Have you “played hooky” from your responsibilities to give yourself an emotional health break anytime lately?
How long has it been since you felt the inner joy that bubbles when you free yourself from responsibilities, even just for a few hours?
Burnout is real. And it comes from living a life devoted to checking off boxes on your “to do” list. We live in a society that values The Puritan Work Ethic irrespective of actual religious affiliation. Unfortunately, this has led us to also be a society of people suffering from the effects of that work-ethic on our health.
According to the World Health Organization (WHO) burnout is a syndrome derived from unmanaged workplace stress. It includes the following symptoms:
- Feelings of energy depletion or exhaustion.
- increased mental distance from one’s job, or feelings of negativism or cynicism related to one’s job; and
- reduced professional efficacy.
If we reach beyond the official symptomology we find that burnout is also accompanied by lethargy, cynicism, and difficulty controlling worry, fear, sorrow and anger.
You may not be there yet… I hope not!
But, if your answers to my questions are anything like, “I don’t know;” “I can’t remember…” or, “no, I have not played hooky…” then you may be on your way to burnout.
BURNOUT AND THE DOUBLE-DAY
I want to cry patriarchy in response to the WHO’s official diagnosis because they state, “Burn-out refers specifically to phenomena in the occupational context and should not be applied to describe experiences in other areas of life.”
REALLY? Because I can tell you right now that not only did I suffer from burnout resulting from the Double-Day, but so do most of my clients! Parenting, housework, family life are just as much of a precursor to burnout as working outside of the home.
When you add working outside of the home to the responsibilities of home and family, it creates an even more precarious and slippery slope toward burnout.
By excluding life’s responsibilities from the official diagnosis of burnout, a majority of the world’s population is being excluded from a diagnosis that very well may lead to serious stress-based health problems – such as the number one cause of death in the world: Heart Disease!
A BATTLE CRY AGAINST BURNOUT
You have a choice. You may choose to live your life in such a way that you do not slide down the slippery slope to burnout. If you are already in burnout, you can make the necessary changes in your lifestyle to reverse its effects.
Or…
you can continue to allow yourself to be controlled by your “to-do” list.
You can allow yourself to be manipulated by false guilt (you’re lazy, irresponsible, you have a family to care for…).
It is possible to be productive (not lazy), responsible and care for your family, etc. AND CARE FOR YOURSELF!
RELATED POST: THE MYTH OF THE SUPERMOM
As I discussed in my “Want to be a Good Mom? Take Care of Yourself” blog, it is necessary to break out of the drudgery of taking care of everyone else. But, this blog does not just apply to moms. It applies to anyone who’s life is devoted to taking care of others: Managers; service professionals; adult children taking care of aging parents. You get the picture.
If you are living your life in any of these scenarios, without taking time off, you are at risk of burnout!
THE FIRST STEP
Unfortunately, getting off the slippery slope toward burnout is not a quick fix. Nor is reversing burnout altogether. But, like anything worth doing it starts with a first step.
The first step I want you to take is to delete at least one thing from your “to do” list that is not absolutely necessary for your, or someone else’s, survival. That may mean things like, making the bed or taking your child(ren) to one of their many practices, extracurricular classes, or even immediately answering every single email when it pops into your inbox.
If this task seems daunting, remind yourself that it’s just ONE thing! Try it for a week. Then, if, and honestly when, you experience the bit of relief that one deleted task gives you, delete another and another.
FINDING TIME FOR WHAT’S IMPORTANT
I often speak with my clients about “La Dolce Far Niente” ~ An Italian phrase, and life-lesson, that means “The sweetness of nothing.” I joke with them that I’m Italian, I love good food and enjoying the sweetness of doing nothing! Finding time to do nothing, to just savor life, is finding time for what is important.
But of course, even Italians don’t believe in doing nothing all of the time. I mean Italy is the heart of beautiful art, music, food and fashion. These are certainly produced by doing something. The something that they are doing is born from creativity, passion and living a life of meaning and joy. These things are all influenced by spending some time in the state of rest and relaxation that is La Dolce Far Niente.
Productivity that is full of meaning and purpose comes from a place of finding time for what’s important. Giving yourself rest and relaxation is important. But, so is doing things that serve your meaning and purpose. You must make room in your life for these things, these periods of meaningful productivity, by cutting other things out – deleting meaningless tasks from your to do list.
THE FIRST FIVE STEPS
If you are feeling brave, and want to take on the next steps to living beyond burnout, I created a very short, inexpensive, online mini-course called Breaking Busy: 5 Simple Steps to Slow Down, Rise-Up & Feel More in Control of Your Life!
You can learn more about it HERE!
The Breaking Busy process helps you decide what to eliminate from your to do list. It takes you on a journey of understanding what is important to you, what you value. It helps you to discern the difference among the things you can control, the things you can’t control and the things you don’t need to control!
If you are ready to STOP living one long “to do” list and to START living a life that gives you meaning, that brings you a sense of purpose and that you love living, Breaking Busy is your place to start! Read more about how this mini-course will start you on a path to a new, and healthier, way of living!
I know what it feels like to be on the slippery slope to burnout AND to be in full-on burnout! As a young mother who was trying to keep up the pace of a new professor, I was on the hamster wheel of the never-ending “to do” list. And I was burned out!
That was almost 15 years ago.
Now, I’m living beyond burnout. I’m living a life in which my “work” is full of meaning and fueling my sense of purpose. And, I am truly grateful to really love my life!
I want this for you too!
From my heart to yours,
Jen
