I’m a big admirer of mindfulness, like I’m a big admirer of art without being an artist, and dance without being a dancer. I know mindfulness is a beautiful thing and a really good idea, but it has never been a practice that I said I was “good at,” like someone could say they had developed a skill or learned a foreign language. But that is because, until recently, I looked at the concept of mindfulness as an all-or-nothing situation. I was either the Buddha, blissfully enlightened and at peace, sitting under a tree with half-closed eyes, emotionally untouched by the world, or I wasn’t. There was no in-between.
My personal journey with mindfulness
I taught comparative religions at a community college for thirteen years, and I would bet that the most excited student in the classroom was me. I heard myself talk about the world’s best wisdom, distilled and passed down through the ages, from the beginning of recorded history until now. I left every lecture inspired by the world’s most beautiful and sacred ideas. My focus has always been much less on what the established religions did and said over the years, and much more on the incredible founders and leaders. From Moses to Jesus to Muhammad, from the Buddha to Lao Tzu to Confucius, from Eve to the Oracle at Delphi to Mary Magdalene, I stand in awe and wonder at the faith of these people.
But I never put myself in the same category, because I could not practice their spirituality as they did. I have kids. I have a mortgage and a job. I have pets to feed and a dishwasher to unload and a carpool to drive. Who has time for the purity of mindfulness? I mean, come on Buddha, I would be enlightened, too, if I had all day to sit under a tree!
The funny thing is – the Buddha would laugh with me at that joke. Before he became enlightened, he was a prince who was incredibly busy with a family, royal duties, and lavish feasts. He decided to sit still under the tree of enlightenment when Mara, the god of death, was trying to distract and frighten him off the spot. He even placed his hand on the ground, calling the earth to witness his resolve to not get off that place of mindfulness. Mindfulness is not easy for any of us. It is always a commitment, always a sacrifice, always a discipline, and always worth it.
Mindfulness is always worth it
Lately, I have changed my understanding of mindfulness. I don’t tell myself whether I am practicing mindfulness or not, like someone is pregnant or not. There are moments when I am, and moments when I am not. The goal is not perfection, and it is certainly not competition with anyone. The goal is to devote as many minutes as possible to being whole, which means being fully present to life.
Today I ate my lunch of vegetable soup and crackers without any TV, computer, music, or YouTube channel on. I savored the delicious taste and the heat of the soup. I noticed the bowl and spoon. I felt my stomach grow full. That was a moment of mindfulness. Later, I went for a walk. I didn’t choose to only focus on my feet on the ground. I also listened to an audiobook. I was not as mindful as I could have been, but that’s okay. Sometimes I choose not to be. But I did take in the rich green of the hills and the clear blue sky. I even noticed the moon. I might not have noticed those things if I had not been intending to be at least somewhat mindful of my surroundings.
The more I practice mindfulness, by doing one thing at a time with no other distractions, the more spacious my soul grows. I find that anxiety, frustration, and stress are much quieter. My thoughts are naturally happier, and my mood lighter. I do not need to check social media or email to get that rush of something “new” because mindfulness always presents something new. The world looks fresh and beautiful. The more I practice mindfulness, the easier it is to hear my thoughts clearly, to mentally drop things that need to be dropped, and to pick up what is more important. I have noticed I say “I love you” to my family more. My husband notices I am less rushed and more centered. That is all from my sporadic efforts to stay in this present moment.
Vietnamese Buddhist monk, peace activist, author, teacher, and mindfulness master Thich Nhat Hanh writes in his book, Silence, “Even in the few minutes before we die, in that time we can stop our thoughts and take mindful breaths and find stillness and peace. But why wait until we’re on our deathbed to become present and treasure the miracle of being alive?”
“Why wait to become present and treasure the miracle of being alive?” Is there a better question?
A Zen story tells of a monk who was pursued by a tiger. He ran and found himself at a cliff. Looking down below, the monk realized he could jump down and probably survive, but then he saw another tiger on the ground below. So he climbed down a vine, suspending himself between the two tigers, hoping one would eventually go away. But then a mouse appeared and began to gnaw at the vine. This is how the story ends: “Then the monk saw a strawberry growing out of the dirt on the cliff. Holding onto the vine with one hand, the monk plucked the strawberry with the other. How sweet it tasted!” This is the story of a man practicing mindfulness! His only concern was with the HERE and NOW. Zen stories abound that encourage us to focus only on the present moment.
I’ll never be the Buddha; I’m too busy. I’ll never be this Zen monk; I don’t think any strawberry could take my mind off the frightening tigers. I will probably always think I can multitask; no one really can. But I can eat my soup without the TV on. I can talk to my children and husband without looking at my phone. I can watch the moon and create spaciousness, stillness, and silence in my own soul. I can drop the worry loop. I can say “I love you” as much as possible. I can become present, even before I am on my deathbed, and treasure the miracle of being alive. Other days, I won’t remember or choose to be mindful. That’s okay. The present moment will be waiting for me when I can remember to stop and see it.
STEPHANIE LAPE
Stephanie Lape is a pastor in the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America (ELCA).
She holds a Master of Arts degree in Transpersonal Psychology (the psychology of religious experience) from the Institute of Transpersonal Psychology, and a Master of Divinity degree from Luther Seminary. A long-time professor of comparative religions and former campus minister, she now serves as pastor at Eden Lutheran Church in Riverside, California.
Stephanie speaks and teaches on matters of spiritual and psychological development, biblical studies, the enneagram personality tool, and comparative religions. She is an active advocate for interfaith and ecumenical studies. She has taught classes on major religious movements in churches, schools, and city programs, while also leading tours and guest speaking at mosques, synagogues, and temples. Stephanie is honored to be a speaker at the 2021 and 2023 Parliament of the World’s Religions.
She also loves to write. Stephanie is a contributing author for Living Lutheran Magazine and author of Beckoned: Hearing God’s Call to Deeper Faith, which is both a travelogue of her own winding spiritual journey, as well as a guide to help people discover their own path. She lives with her husband and two children in Southern California.
