Take a moment to consider how you feel appreciated. Is it through a simple thank you, a verbal acknowledgement, or a helpful action? Think about how that gift of appreciation made you feel. Did you experience happiness, gratitude, or a burst of energy?
Join our Community of Peaceful Living Wellness Warriors
and receive a special free gift:
Our Top 5 Tips for Peaceful Living
Genuine appreciation can fuel a sense of purpose. It reminds us that our efforts, our presence, are noticed and meaningful. It affirms that we matter and what we do makes a difference.
Now, consider how you show appreciation. How do your friends and colleagues know you value them? How about your partner, your children, or your teen?
Sometimes demonstrating appreciation to a teen is difficult. Why? Because traditionally, teens are unappreciative, especially toward their parents. In fact, many parent-teen arguments stem from feeling a lack of appreciation. Teens perceive their parents always “nag” them about what’s wrong. Parents assume all they do for their teen goes unnoticed or is met with indifference or even annoyance. Unless tended to, this can create an unhealthy cycle in which appreciation is replaced by frustration, resentment, and tension.
The truth is, appreciation means a lot to teens but they don’t always know how to show it.
Related Post: PARENTING TEENS: Connecting to Intuition
In a teen’s mind appreciation resonates as support and a sense that she is seen and heard. When teens feel acknowledged, their self-esteem improves. When they feel assured they have unwavering support, they are more likely to be receptive and communicative. Most importantly, when teens are shown appreciation, they develop an understanding of how to convey their own appreciation toward their parents and others in their life.
Imagine that!
Parents often expect their teen to show appreciation. However, when it comes to expressing it beyond “please” and “thank you,” they rarely consider if their teen knows how to show appreciation, which includes their admiration, gratitude, and respect. When parents intentionally show teens authentic appreciation, teens learn how to do the same and the cycle of appreciation begins.
How to start a cycle of appreciation with your teen:
- First, understand the differences between gratitude and appreciation. Appreciation requires going beyond gratitude and recognizing the quality something or someone brings into your life. It requires thinking about what it is about someone or something that promotes unconditional, unwavering feelings of lightness, love, happiness, and energy.
- Have a conversation with your teen. Ask her, how do you like to be appreciated? Engage in a meaningful dialogue that will provide you both with insight. How do you each show your heartfelt appreciation for one another?
- Show your appreciation. Instead of focusing on what’s not being done, acknowledge the things that are going well. Explicitly state your appreciation when your teen remembers to put her dishes away or fold her clothes. Catch her doing the right thing and remind her how much you appreciate her effort. “I appreciate you. I’m so grateful that I get to be your mom or dad.”
- Say the word appreciation…. Often. Make a point of extending your appreciation to all family members, friends, and colleagues. When you slow down to notice and appreciate the quality someone or something brings to your life, you set a positive tone for your own life and provide a powerful example for your teen to follow.
Appreciation is an uplifter and a cornerstone to a balanced, fulfilling relationship with anyone in your life, especially with teens. Just as it can motivate you to do your best or affirm that who you are matters, it does the same for teens. When your teen feels motivated and important, it is a game-changer.
Links:
https://www.facebook.com/Erica.InspireBalanceCoaching/
https://www.instagram.com/erica_inspire_balance_coaching/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/erica-rood-m-a-ed-a4a37966/
ERICA ROOD
Erica is the founder of Inspire Balance Coaching for Parents, Teens, and Young Adults. She is a certified Life Coach, with over fifteen years of teaching and coaching experience. Her coaching programs provide parents and girls with valuable insights and realistic strategies for handling the challenges of adolescence. Girls experience an increase in confidence, motivation, and their ability to make thoughtful, self-empowering decisions. Her parenting programs teach effective practices that lead to fewer battles, less frustration, better communication, and more ease and enjoyment in parenting teens and tweens.
