Looking back on the Amanda of 6 years ago was interesting. I cannot remember if it was 6 years ago pre- or post-thyroid cancer. That would also make a big difference. I will not trivialize the parenting struggles I was going through at that time. Mental health can make every day a struggle and when you look back you can use your rose-colored glasses. To be placed right in that moment, I bet anxieties were high and I know she was doing the very best she could at that point in time.
Honestly, I really wish I could have given past Amanda a hug. It was so hard. And it wasn’t just the parenting. She most likely had her thyroid removed and was battling the ups and downs of adjusting to one less organ. And the hormones, oh the hormones. They truly do not warn you enough about how hard that time post-op can be. If it was pre-surgery, how she struggled with the flares ups. They lasted for weeks or even months and they were so strong. It felt like the flu and she felt so very defeated. Truly, she deserves the biggest hug for getting through all of this and still standing strong today.
Well, here I am, six years later and I can honestly say that I am thriving and WE are thriving. Woah, big pats on the back deserved over here. I truly wasn’t able to imagine a time like this. A time when things were much less chaotic and less dependent on Mom and Dad for all of the things.
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Life Is Still Challenging
Now, it’s not to say that the days aren’t hard. There are definitely some that rank off the charts BUT every season comes with its own cheers and challenges. However, I am 6 years the wiser and I can say that the new and improved Amanda knows how to handle things a little bit better. It’s not to say I couldn’t handle it outwardly before but now I am able to also do it without feeling like my head may combust at any time. You have got to do the work to get to this point in your life. The therapy, the trauma work, the reading, the looking inward and outward, and putting time aside for you and only you are just a few of the methods that have gotten me to this place.
However, I don’t want to be too hard on past Amanda. She did the best she could with what she had at that time. She hadn’t quite gotten through the hardest year she would face yet (the year after her thyroidectomy) and you can feel it in her writing that screams…can someone please help me. Past Amanda wasn’t the best at asking for help but honestly, there were not a lot of people to ask. She did her best and her kids are thriving right now. Parenting was hard (and still is), but she got through that chapter. She did good. I wish I could show her that.
This life can be so challenging sometimes and unfortunately, the way things are these days, it looks the opposite. You see Suzie and her perfect little family doing all of the fun things, with smiles on their faces and a beautiful background. That’s what you see on social media, it does not show what happens behind the scenes. We do not see how they struggled to get to where they are; how the kids fought, how their finances are or the big fight she got in with her husband last night. And we don’t see all the parenting challenges. We see none of that.
Don’t Give Up!
Step back. Take a look at what is good in your life. Assess what is bad and how you can work towards better days. Do not give up and know that you are doing your best and that is all that we can ask for in this life. It’s hard and we all struggle from time to time. I promise, you can do this and you have already gotten through the hardest days you have faced thus far.
AMANDA BIRD
Amanda is a social media manager for Peaceful Living Wellness and assists in graphic design and product merchandizing with the Peaceful Living Wellness Brand. She is also a coaching trainee with Peaceful Living Wellness whom looks forward to working with Parents of children with Special Needs.
She is now a blogger for the Peaceful Living website and also has her own mental health blog at www.awordfrommommabird.com. There you can find real, raw stories about raising a child with special needs, living with chronic illness and overcoming mental health struggles along her journey with some sprinkles of humor.
She has been married to her husband Shannon for 16 years and they have 3 beautiful, active children that are the ages 13, 11 and 6. They tend to have a menagerie in their home but they currently house a boxer that was a rescue, a redefined barn kitty, a studious bearded dragon and sassy parakeet.
You can usually find Amanda volunteering for the kids’ latest school fundraiser, opening up a food pantry in her driveway (totally normal) or running her kids to their latest and greatest after school extra-curricular, among other things. She enjoys supporting her community and currently has a support page active on Facebook for parents of children with special needs.
