Do you ever feel like your life consists of going to work…running errands… work… errands… work… errands and on and on? There never seems to be a shortage of errands – including everything from chauffeuring children around to grocery shopping or running to the post office to going to the doctor. The purpose might vary slightly, but what you wear is probably similar.
Women repeatedly tell me that they have a practical work wardrobe and can throw on workout clothes or super casual clothes for the day-to-day stuff, but when it comes to meeting a friend for dinner, maybe visiting a museum, having a romantic getaway or simply doing something that goes beyond work and errands, they find themselves wearing the same thing they wear every day. But that doesn’t feel special or delight their senses.
When you put on clothes that feel special, it signals to your heart and soul that this experience is different. The problem is that regular life often gets in the way of putting those outfits together. It’s easy to wait until the last minute to figure out what you’re going to wear to something outside of the norm and by then it’s too late. You then do the best you can with what you have, but the end result rarely measures up to the joy you want to feel in that moment.
Here are three reasons that reveal that you might not have what you need to easily get ready for a fun, romantic get-away.
1. You forget to allocate the time. Life gets busy and it’s understandable that there are many demands on your time. As the saying goes, the squeaky wheel gets the grease and sometimes there’s a never-ending supply of these claims on your time. This means that things like refining your wardrobe choices to meet all the needs of your lifestyle (especially those that you don’t do on a regular basis) fall into the important but not urgent category and are relegated to the end of your to-do list. We’ve all done this and I don’t know about you, but I don’t remember the last time I reached the end of my to-do list!
2. You think you have something that will work, but… Perhaps you haven’t had a chance to dive into your closet and experiment with clothing options to take with you. Instead, while you’re brushing your teeth, driving to the dentist or waiting in line at the store, you come up with some outfits in your mind that you think will work. This satisfies you momentarily, but there’s an important next step that’s often overlooked: Give those outfits a dress rehearsal.
Outfits can come together beautifully in our minds, but until we put the outfits on, it’s not a done deal. Unless you wore that outfit recently and know you loved it, be sure to try on the outfit before you start packing. Maybe you’ve never worn those pieces together. Theoretically, it seems like they will work, but if you pack it and then get dressed while you’re away you could be disappointed and stuck! You might discover that something shrank in the wash or it looks frumpy paired with the skirt you planned to wear. Or, it doesn’t fit anymore and now you’re frustrated and not having any fun. The point of this romantic get-away is to be relaxed, feel wonderful and enjoy the special time! Giving your outfits a quick dress rehearsal ahead of time will nip those problems in the bud.
3. You don’t know how to create a wardrobe for a romantic get-away. You’re not alone. Maybe you’ve gotten into a routine of wearing your everyday clothes everywhere and you no longer feel confident finding things that feel special or even a little sexy. Everything you try either feels like more of the same old stuff, a little frumpy or you worry you’ll look inappropriate. None of those is what you’re shooting for!
If one or more of these stuck places above hits home, don’t despair. There’s still time lots of wonderful romantic (or simply fun!) getaways in your future and you can start planning now so you’re ready.
Begin by clarifying what feels special or sexy to you. What are ways you can express a sensual confidence with your clothing? This is not the same for everyone.
Here are 3 ideas to inspire you:
1. Choose a Sensual Fabric:
· Soft: When something you’re wearing feels soft and luscious against your skin, or to the touch, it makes you smile and relax.
· Flowy: Maybe you love the flirty feel of a pleated skirt, flowy pants or pretty bell sleeves. This flow has a romantic, feminine feel.
· Shimmer: Think about a sweater that has a metallic thread running through it that adds a little shine or a silky fabric that shimmers when you move. These touches make the top feel a notch above everyday wear.
See how the yummy softness of the turtleneck makes Diane sparkle as opposed to the dull gray of the outfit on the left. Even though she’s covered up with the high neckline, the feeling is still delicious.
2. Wear Your Favorite Fit:
The first thing that comes to mind for many women when they think of a sexy fit is either tight, short or low cut. While those are options (although perhaps not all in the same outfit), there are other possibilities. Clothes that skim your body and move with you or float around your body can feel alluring and a little mysterious. What’s most important is that you wear something that feels authentic and delicious to you.
A workshop I led on how to dress for a date brought up a very important consideration. Lisa asked on which date she should show cleavage. I asked her how she felt about showing cleavage and she said that she felt a bit uncomfortable, but she believed that in order for her date to find her sexy she should wear something low cut. We discussed what felt sexy to her and at no time did low cut tops come up. We decided that if she wanted to show skin, there were other ways to do it: a lovely open back or a slight slit on her skirt. Something provocative but subtle worked beautifully for her.
Be sure to choose the ‘sexy’ fit that works for you. If, like Lisa suggested, you go with what you feel you should wear rather than what feels wonderful, your discomfort rather than sensuality will come through and that never feels romantic or alluring.
3. Add Magical Design Details:
Choose designs you don’t wear day-to-day to match the mood of your getaway.
· Show some skin – try an off-the-shoulder sweater or a skirt that’s a couple of inches shorter than you usually wear. Choose a v-neckline that shows a touch of cleavage or a halter top that shows off your shoulders.
· Mix it up: If you usually wear jeans or pants, try a midi or maxi dress or wide leg pants that mimic the feel of a long skirt. Something that swirls around your legs adds a touch of mystery.
· Play with accessories – If you always wear the same jewelry, add some sparkle to your earrings or wear colorful bracelets – something that feels fresh, fun and a little different.
· Choose a color that makes you glow rather than the usual black, navy or gray you tend to grab on the go.
Look at the difference for Pam when she wears a top in a gorgeous color and in a fit that complements her curvy body rather than an outfit that overpowers her petite frame.
Make a list of your favorite options from above. Need some inspiration to get you started?
Build your wardrobe around one of these:
· Jeans that show off your curves
· A pair of shoes or sandals you love
· A sweater you’ve been saving for a special occasion
· A dress that isn’t practical for your everyday lifestyle but which you love
· Something you wore (whether a piece of jewelry or article of clothing) at a past romantic get-away that has a delicious, sentimental feeling to it
Cheryl has the perfect boots that delight her and reflect her bodacious, playful side. She starts with the boots and builds the rest of the outfit around those!
What about you? Daydream about how you’d like to look. Start with one item that makes you smile and go from there. If you aren’t sure you have what you need, take it shopping with you and try different things on with it. If you have a jumping off point it’s often easier to build upon that than starting from scratch.
Most importantly, make creating a romantic get-away wardrobe a fun adventure. Put together a few outfits that make you smile even if you currently don’t have a getaway planned. As they say, if you build it, they will come! And, this time, you’ll be ready.
GINGER BURR
I’m Ginger Burr, founder of Total Image Consultants (www.totalimageconsultants.com), with a passion for empowering women to feel amazing about how they look! After more than 30 years of working with women and experiencing my own transformation prior to that (read more about this on my website (with pictures!), I’m well-acquainted both with the frustration that accompanies having a wardrobe you don’t love and the delight that comes with recognizing and embracing your own personal style.
If every morning you think, “I hope people will forget what I’m wearing,” it’s time for a change. In the beginning I couldn’t do it alone and you do not have to either. As one client said to me, “I’m tired of expending mental energy trying to figure out what to wear. It’s exhausting.” I can help you redirect that energy to create a wardrobe that makes your heart sing.
It’s a different journey for each person. That’s why I have many ways of supporting you from my book, ‘That’s So You! Create a Look You Love with Beauty, Style & Grace’ to my signature live online class, ‘Create Your Personal Style in 6 Weeks’ to working privately one-on-one with me. In each case, the basic elements are the same and you learn to dress with confidence without shedding pounds, sacrificing comfort or compromising who you are.
I am a graduate of Mount Holyoke College and a speaker and leader in the field of fashion and style. My experience and understanding of beauty trends and fashion has been celebrated by Allure Magazine, Fox TV News, The Boston Globe, MORE Magazine.com, cnn.com, Bloomberg Business Week, Forbes Magazine, and Worth Magazine and I have presented corporate seminars for some of the world’s most prestigious organizations including Harvard Business School, the U.S. Army and Unilever.
Above all, I have a heartfelt belief that whether you are 25 or 85, you deserve to feel radiant and pulled-together every time you get dressed. No matter where you live, what your lifestyle is like or how old you are, I delight in working with women who long to connect with their inner essence to create a wardrobe they love.
