Ready for even more tips on igniting your sex drive? In addition to last month’s helpful strategies, there are four more effective ways to add a new level of passion to your relationship.
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Learn about how you can take control of your sex drive at any age — and at every stage of your relationship:
Practice sensate focus
Do you find that your partner is in the mood for love more often than you are? Having a desire discrepancy can lead to tension, disappointment, and feelings of inadequacy. However, sensate focus may be just the thing to help you match your partner’s level of desire.
What is sensate focus, and how can it increase your libido?:
- Sensate focus is a technique that “involves a series of behavioral exercises that couples do together in order to enhance their intimacy and connection.” (Source: VeryWell Mind).
- This technique maximizes sensations throughout the body.
- It reduces performance pressure worries.
- There is no judgement and no evaluation.
- It promotes mindfulness and focuses you and your partner on tactile senses — such as temperature and texture.
- Learn proper sensate focus techniques and receive support in your journey.
Seek expert support for your sexual health and relationship
Introducing a third person (not a menage à trois!) such as a sex coach or a therapist can be a real turning point in a relationship. These types of professionals use science-backed approaches that deliver real and lasting results.
Not sure if this is the right approach for you? Most sex coaches and therapists offer a free 15 minute discovery call to evaluate if they are suited to help you with your needs.
What qualities should you seek in a sex coach or sex therapist?:
- Someone who will make it a fun and exciting experience for both you and your partner — and who will provide explorative homeplay assignments.
- A solid educational background. Ensure that they are under a professional, board certified governing body — such as AASECT.
- A personality that resonates with you and your partner.
- Someone you feel safe opening up to fully about your deepest issues and needs.
- Good reviews. Read all available ratings and testimonials.
Additional tips:
Sex therapists are great if you have very serious and deep rooted issues. They can help you dive deep into your past to solve current issues. The average cost of hiring a sex thearpist is between $180-$350/session.
However, a relationship/sex coach will look at current issues. They will only ask essential questions about your past — so that you don’t have to revisit past pain and trauma. These coaches work to intrinsically motivate you, keep you accountable, and to set you up for a great future. Sex/relationship coaches typically charge between $99-$200 per session.
Let go of conventional beauty standards
We live in a world that is obsessed with the beauty ideal. Placing too much focus on having the “perfect” body is such a waste of time and resources! Escape this social pressure and learn to live life with more self-confidence. Accept your body exactly as it is — and over time — learn to absolutely adore it! Loving your body will enhance your sex drive by making you less worried about what your partner thinks.
Play!
Kick up the heat between you and your partner by playing in the boudoir! In my first PLW blog post, I discussed what it means to “simmer” one another. If you’re not yet familiar with the concept, learn it now so that you can begin practicing it right away!
Remember that sex doesn’t have to follow a set formula. Always do what works best for you and your partner — even if this changes over time.
Want to make your “play time” even steamier? Try this fun role playing scenario during your next date night:
VACATION VIBES
WHAT TO DO: Pretend you are on a beach in Mexico, Costa Rica, or your favorite tropical island — you pick! This is your fantasy.
WHERE: On a massage table. If you don’t own one, get one! A massage table can be one of the best investments for your relationship, as it can create a fabulous area for play. Allow your partner to massage your back while they set the scene. Your partner should help you visualize being on a secluded, all-inclusive beach, with the sun shining on your back and a warm breeze entering your massage cabana.
WHEN: Your partner will continue to describe what you should be visualizing. They will say that they are a sexy cabana masseur — well-trained in all things erogenous! Throw yourself into the excitement and allure of your massage therapist, especially as they ask you to flip onto your back. Let your mind wander as you guess where this massage is about to head! Your passion-filled masseur then asks if they can continue to work out the stiff parts on your body.
You love how your cabana massage therapist gets carried away with rubbing your entire body. You particularly adore how their massage lingers around your breasts, inner thighs, and all other sensitive areas. The teasing and playing heat up, as the warm sun beams down on your body.
They ask: “Would you like a happy ending, señorita?” You are over the moon about this suggestion, and simply whisper “yes” to your masseur. As the grand finale of your massage starts, you begin to feel total ecstasy! You can’t help but giggle and laugh about the most luxurious massage you have ever experienced in your life. PURA VIDA!
Want more date nights like this one? Sign up at www.relationshipbliss.ca to receive 10 HOT date nights, monthly Outside the Box Date Night Ideas, and flirty 5-minute love blast ideas (for when there isn’t time for sex!). It will be just what you will need to keep the flames aglow and your desire strong.
MARIE-CLAIRE
M-C is a highly-acclaimed Relationship, Conscious Loving and Sexuality coach, author, educator, and entrepreneur. Her mission is to provide couples with fun and innovative solutions that help them build strong futures with each other. M-C has crafted her unique coaching method to focus couples — both dating and married — on working through present obstacles in an enjoyable manner.
She has accumulated over 30 years of teaching experience, and over 10 years of one-on-one coaching experience. M-C is trained in Gottman’s Therapy (Level 2), and is a board certified ASSECT and WASC Intimacy Coach.
Her devotion to helping couples inspired her to write the best-selling and award-winning book, Honeymoon Playbook. M-C frequently makes appearances on some of Canada’s top TV shows, and co-hosts The Passion Perspective podcast.
For a more intensive experience, M-C hosts workshops and retreats throughout the year, including Feminine Shifts, Tantric Sex, and Intimacy and Cancer. To keep up-to-date on her latest events and appearances — and to schedule your FREE 15 minute discovery call — visit www.relationshipbliss.ca.
