I used to believe that “self-care” meant pampering myself or even indulging in foods and activities that I would otherwise consider unhealthy. But the truth is, when we make choices that are motivated out of a desire (or desperation) to feel better in the moment, what we’re doing is more accurately described as self-soothing.
On the contrary, true self-care means having the courage to identify, acknowledge and undertake the things that are essential for each of us in order to be our best, feel our best, and bring forth our best. This includes things that:
1. give our lives greater meaning.
2. improve the quality of the relationships we have.
2. motivate us to maintain healthy habits.
3. help us achieve better mental health.
4. reduce our stress levels.
5. make us more resilient and better able to deal with adversity.
6. empower us to be (or become) our authentic selves and to share our gifts with the world.
So let me give you some practical examples that clearly illustrate the difference between self-soothing and self-care.
Saying “yes” to those two glasses of wine every night is self-soothing. Saying “no” to them is self-care.
Taking a sanity-saving vacation is self-soothing. Intentionally creating a life you rarely need a vacation from is self-care.
Taking a mental health day from work is self-soothing (or might even be self-preservation). Choosing a job that allows you to have a reasonable work-life balance is self-care.
Removing yourself from toxic situations (especially repeatedly) is self-soothing. Learning to create healthy boundaries that can protect you from toxic people and situations for the rest of your life is self-care.
Binge-eating comfort food is self-soothing. Making healthy food choices on a regular basis is self-care.
Learning to self-sooth is usually pretty easy. But, so is becoming addicted to it. Needing to self-sooth on a regular basis is a warning signal. We need to pay attention to it. Actual self-care can be a very challenging, scary and lonely path to follow at first. But the payoffs are always worth it. And so are you!
To learn more about true self-care from my small herd of therapeutic horses and me, join me at my upcoming Equine Immersion Retreat: Transition into Transformation! Click HERE to reserve your spot or for more information.
This powerful two-day retreat empowers women who are facing significant life transitions. They gain clarity and courage and will experience a powerful transformation through opening to their inner purpose.
October 6 – 7, 2019
Charleston, South Carolina
To learn more about MY HORSES & ME ~ The Unbridled Guru Team, check out my website!
With Affection,
Kim, Marcos, Shokie & Puck
