As a kid, every year when school, I was tasked with writing a report on my summer vacation. This meant detailing all the fun things I did, the vacations I went on, and how I spent my time with my friends and family. This blog is in keeping with that spirit. I want to use this space and to detail some of the lessons I learned from this past summer about my business, about my family, and about myself.
Heading into Summer:
Oh I had high hopes! This was going to be a summer where my girls and I would spend lots of time together – truly enjoying each other. We would hit the beach, walk around downtown, and explore new places. There would be pool days and backyard fires and “all the things.” How did I fare with these plans? “Meh.” Some worked out as planned, others did not or rather, not to the degree to which I would have liked. Of course, I judged myself – “should be doing better,” “not as I had planned,” but I took a step back and considered why some of these plans did not come to fruition – not to blame, but to better understand. Additionally , I thought about the spontaneous things that DID happen – the ones that weren’t planned in advance, but ended up happening and were just as awesome!
Creative Ventures:
This was the summer I found creativity. No, I had not lost it, but rather more so I “unearthed it”. I don’t consider myself a “creative person” – at least not when it comes to making things. To that end, I set off learning to crochet. My mom did not have these creative skills either. In all honesty, I wanted my girls to have something (or somethings) about which they could say, “My mom made this.” I followed some YouTube videos and voila, I ended this summer with a scarf and beanie and am currently working on blankets for my girls.
Working with my hands has taught me to shut off my brain for a bit, especially when the pattern is repetitive and requires very little thought. The stitching becomes almost meditative as you move from row to row. And, at the end, you have something tangible to show for your efforts. I love choosing the patterns and the colors. And if I should mess something up, all I have to do is release the stitch. It is forgiving. As a recovering perfectionist, I so appreciate the ease of fixing a mistake!
I also decided that, in order not to inundate my family with “all things crochet,” I want to donate some of my goodies to a local charity or shelter. In this way, a hobby that is bringing me joy can help others who could use these items.
Self-Care:
When I consider the trajectory or pattern of my self-care routines, I discover I am much more consistent when school is in session! I seem to forget to workout, meditate, journal, etc. for the summer months. This summer, I changed that.
I used my mornings to re-prioritize myself! Yes, you read that correctly. I am a planner/routine person by nature. However, I had started to write myself out of my schedule. There was no time for my inner work and rejuvenation when I was busy with clients and girls’ afternoon activities. Just as I put my client appointments into my calendar, I blocked time off for reading, watching a show, even taking a nap!
Resetting these self-care goals made my summer more enjoyable – I had more clarity and certainly, more presence. These are the habits that keep me on track and allow me to handle the rest of my life. They are too important to be relegated to the back-burner or worse yet, discounted.
Ever-Changing Tastes:
As a parent of tween girls, tastes and preferences are always changing. Slang that was “in” last week is no longer so. It is a lot to keep up with or at the very least, be somewhat relevant. This summer I enjoyed checking out what my girls found interesting or fun – what shows they watched? Who do they like on social media?
More than just appreciating these things, the coach in me had to investigate! What was it about X influencer to which they girls were aligning? Why are they idolizing this music star over that one? What is it about their lyrics with which they resonate?
We chatted about clothes and the evolution of “Mom jeans”, Lululemon, how they wanted to spend their money, what they were saving up for. They gave me their input on my fashion choices and “what I could be doing better.” (Rude.) Most importantly, it opened up dialogue. As the kiddos get older, I know they may be more tight-lipped with me. I want to do everything in my power now to ensure they are comfortable chatting with me about the mundane things. One day, I know these conversations will be a lot harder and a lot deeper. This is a small step in that direction.
Anxiety of the End of Summer:
As I pen this blog, summer vacation is almost at a close for our family. Before we know it the days of rest and relaxation and more leisure will be gone. Our schedules will become inundated with after school activities and appointments. The thought of which does cause my chest to tighten a bit!
Before each of our little trips this summer, I found myself frantically working to ensure everything was in order for me to be away for a bit. I wanted to be able to rest while I was away. This is what I thought I needed to do. Likewise, upon my return from these ventures, I was again frenetic as I tried to get back into the swing of things. In reality, this was more like punishing myself for taking the time off. Yes, there will be some things to be completed but going overboard negates the purpose of the time off. Do what you can. Even as a solo-business owner, your business will survive your absence. I dare say, giving yourself this time unapologetically will help your business thrive!
After our last family trip to Maine, I made a master list of things to get completed upon our return. It was basically a brain dump. Instead of having these thoughts swirling around my head and heightening my anxiety, I put pen to paper and let them all out/ Then I prioritized the items that needed to be completed as soon as possible. And worked my way through the remaining ones, asking for help as I needed it!
Conclusion:
The most important lesson I learned this summer was being able to disconnect from my work while on vacation. All too often I have worked on my vacations, while not necessarily having client sessions, I have checked in with clients, or been busy writing or putting together a course. I wanted these vacation hours to be spent fully present. I didn’t even pack my laptop when we went away!
Now that the school year is almost upon us, I want to take the lessons learned from this summer and bring them into the Fall, Winter and the Spring! Caring for myself, connecting with my family, being spontaneous – these are just some of the seeds that were planted this summer and I am looking forward to watching them grow this year!
NEELMA PYFROM
Hi! I’m Neelma, a Certified Life Coach/Life Strategist specializing in helping teens and young adults (and the families who love them) deal with anxiety, depression, confidence, and motivation. Together, we negotiate the hardships of the adolescent years -learning the skills needed in order to help them become successful adults who have found their peace, purpose, and authenticity. I have a passion for time management and positive habit formation and love sharing everything I learn (forever student) with the folks I coach.
In my spare time, I enjoy running, meditating, reading, crossword puzzle-ing, and boating with my husband and our two girls and our furbaby.
