I used to hate entertaining people.
Washing all those plates, making a mess in the kitchen, all those loud voices, and sticking around for the prolonged goodbyes.
I truly dislike my house feeling dirty and disheveled, as well as all of the hours of cleaning you have to do the next day.
Not to mention the guilt from eating rich foods and missing workouts.
It all used to make my skin crawl!
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I could never understand why I felt this way, and why I also felt overwhelming dread from saying “yes” at the last minute to friends or family coming over.
Please family and friends — don’t take this personally! It has nothing to do with you. You all are lovely people. I PROMISE. It all has to do with ME. Having a house full used to feel like having trespassers in the fort for ME ONLY.
The problem — as crazy as it sounds — was that I was overly stressed about the eating, drinking, and non-productivity of a dinner party. I was so afraid of consuming anything indulgent, of completely derailing, of not being efficient, and of getting too close with others. It all seemed too much of a sacrifice. For a few hours of “just being.”
Yep — being present, being connected, not doing scares me. In other words, living life spontaneously is terrifying.
After talking with others I know, I think that a lot of people feel this same way.
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I think that now is a super important time to address these kinds of concerns that many of us experience — especially since we are about to hit the season where it can feel like we are drowning in a gravy boat full of obligation.
I don’t want to give you tips to JUST GET THROUGH
My goal is to help change your mind about all of the things going on upstairs in your mind. Life shouldn’t feel like one big obligation! You don’t have to feel as though you are trapped like Rapunzel — in a high tower of safety and comfort zones — AKA fear and anxiety.
I used to be so afraid of trying to stay away from “bad foods,” fitting in workouts, and of all social occasions — simply because I didn’t know if I could control myself.
When I tell you it was a miserable existence, words cannot describe the lonely fitness fortress I had created. I didn’t want people in my house because my body was too physically tired to entertain. I was so scared of eating one little bite of something delicious that would make me blow up.
So what changed?
I got tired of my entire world being closed off. I craved connection, and I had a thirst for something more. Because what I thought was supposed to make me happy — a life of complete discipline and structure — left me empty.
I went into complete burnout mode. Maybe you have been through it too. Where you just stop because you are too weary to carry on.
I basically had to rewire my brain. I had to make fitness a part of my life — not my whole life.
How did I actually start changing?
I got real vulnerable with a couple of friends and my husband about how I needed to change. I confessed that I was tired of how my life was going. In response, my husband even said “I was wondering when the light was gonna come on upstairs.”
I finally resolved to schedule my workout times. To my surprise, I even included REST DAYS!!!
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I also started letting myself enjoy foods that normally I wouldn’t touch (finally — some carbs and wine!). This was hard for me, but I managed the change by enjoying everything in moderation.
And the best part are the guests who now come to enjoy these foods with me. Between the recovery and letting go of the fear I had with food, my walls begin to come down. My whole life had been consumed because of the fear I let snowball into the need to control my body.
In the process, I found out that I really enjoy cooking. It just grounds me. I also appreciate getting to experience belly laughs with friends and family.
Giving up control
When I started to work through my control issues, I realized that my self-worth wasn’t correlated to doing, moving, and body image. I begin to enjoy the feast and not just food, but the connection with people. Hanging out and having coffee, or allowing myself to rest and have a glass of wine.
Life requires both structure and flow, but it’s how we manage both that is important. Do we hide behind one or the other because we are scared? Do we get overwhelmed by them? Do we completely eliminate one because it “doesn’t serve a purpose”?
As you go into this season, remember that the holidays are more of a “flow time.” You are worth giving yourself precious moments, deep connections with friends and family, and traditions.
The balancing act is hard, but it can be done. This is what helps you live a full, healthy, and meaningful life.
Lyndsey Bobola understands the struggles of losing weight and getting healthy. She has lost over 65 pounds through her fitness journey. Breaking through the fad diets and exercise routines and giving up excuses, Lyndsey created goals and developed nutrition plans that worked! She gained a healthy lifestyle and now feels better than ever before. As her life improved, Lyndsey developed a passion to help others discover the path to a healthier life.
Now, Lyndsey is here to help clients cut through the noise of Instagram fitness models and fad diets to find real, lasting change. She is here to help people who are ready to improve their life through fitness, health, and life goals.
Scrolling through Instagram accounts of so-called fitness models, Pinterest meal prep ideas, and online workout programs with no scientific backing, Lyndsey realized a majority of fitness ideas online are wrong. They are designed for quick but not lasting results, to make you feel inadequate, or to get your money and leave you hanging. Lyndsey wants to change that through education and hands-on training. Taking no excuses, she provides honest and effective guidance for people who are ready for change.
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