Life Coach Amanda Bird reflects on why she became a life coach for autism moms, and why she believes that extra guidance and support matters for autism moms.
Sometimes I feel like a scam. I want to be all butterflies and rainbows and ‘everything will be okay,’ but some days I just want to eat the whole big ass family-size bag of M&M’s, mope for a while, and just feel my emotions. Hey, I stopped drinking alcohol because I knew that I was just trying to mask how I was really feeling over the holidays. So, here I sit, eating all of the M&Ms, drinking my third cup of liquid energy and just wallowing in it. And you know what? That’s okay.
It’s okay to wallow sometimes
Sometimes I get sucked into those vacuums for a little bit, I think we all do at some point. It’s okay to feel your feelings and wallow in it for a little bit. You are allowed to be upset that life isn’t the way you had envisioned it would be. It’s okay to be upset that you didn’t get your work done, again, because once again you have a child chirping in your ear that isn’t supposed to be home.
Here’s the thing. You can do that if you remember and are able to pull yourself out of it. I have finally gotten out of my funk of seasonal depression that took me down for a few months. I’m able to now feel my feelings and then come back up for air and move forward. I guess I feel like a scam because I still slip down that slope. However, I then I remember that it is all part of the journey and we all slip. If you don’t live through it you cannot genuinely help others through it. I mean, sure, you could try but you’re much less believable and truly, it does not mean as much.
It’s crazy because as I type this I realize how much I have grown and how much closer I have gotten to becoming a Life Coach. I am able to actually look back at the things that have happened and realize what I have learned and how I will handle it better next time. I was absolutely not able to do that before. It has slowly become my way.
How I became a Life Coach for Autism Moms
You see, we did not realize we were raising a child with special needs when he was born. Honestly, we didn’t realize he had special needs until about 3 and a half. Even more so at seven and then once again at 10. Each of those years brought a new realization, a new diagnosis. The journey has been hard, it’s been raw, it’s truly taught my husband and I so much about ourselves, about our son and about the parents we want to be for him.
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Every day is a new challenge
Today was another day out of the ordinary. It was a hard one. A day where I have to take a deep breath after a very humbling phone call from the school, suck it up, and go in to talk to the teachers. This is nothing new anymore. We are always in communication with his school and there are some events that cause us to have to be there to talk to them.
I don’t have all of the answers. There is a reason why I am choosing to be a life coach for moms of children with special needs. I am not coaching them on raising their children. Hell, I am not sure I am doing that right most of the time. I keep on learning new things to make it better for the next time. However, as crazy as it sounds, in this journey, I am learning how to take care of me. Sounds selfish to some but to me, it sounds right. You see, I didn’t always know what or how to do this. I seemed to get lost in motherhood and forget that I was running on fumes. You cannot take care of others to the best of your abilities if your tank is close to empty. We’ve all heard it but have we actually followed this advice?
How a Life Coach for Autism Moms can help you
When you have a child with special needs, that is the true test of your sanity, the test of how well you are able to run this shit show that is life. You have this special person in your life that depends on you more and longer than the typical child. The conflicts happen more, there are more meetings and doctors’ appointments and one on ones when you need to talk through things with your child. I’m not lessening other parents and what they are going through. But how many times have I heard, “I don’t know how you do it”? You have to, you have no choice. And you know what? I want to choose to do it well and end up with my child needing less therapy in his adult years because I fucked him up a little less. You know?
I am working toward my dreams. There have been times along my journey that I tell myself, “Maybe now isn’t the time. How can I do this with all that is going on in our life?” But I just keep on pushing forward because I deserve to work on my dreams while raising my kids to one day follow their dreams.
I want to live a long and happy life. Don’t we all? But being someone that has had a lot of mental and physical challenges, I know that if I want to keep living this life happily, I need to take care of my mind and my body. Doing things to take care of me is not selfish, it is nurturing, it is necessary. I hope that in my journey I can help many moms through the process of learning to nurture themselves, which in turn will make them an even better mother.
AMANDA BIRD
Amanda is a social media manager for Peaceful Living Wellness and assists in graphic design and product merchandizing with the Peaceful Living Wellness Brand. She is also a coaching trainee with Peaceful Living Wellness whom looks forward to working with Parents of children with Special Needs.
She is now a blogger for the Peaceful Living website and also has her own mental health blog at www.awordfrommommabird.com. There you can find real, raw stories about raising a child with special needs, living with chronic illness and overcoming mental health struggles along her journey with some sprinkles of humor.
She has been married to her husband Shannon for 16 years and they have 3 beautiful, active children that are the ages 13, 11 and 6. They tend to have a menagerie in their home but they currently house a boxer that was a rescue, a redefined barn kitty, a studious bearded dragon and sassy parakeet.
You can usually find Amanda volunteering for the kids’ latest school fundraiser, opening up a food pantry in her driveway (totally normal) or running her kids to their latest and greatest after school extra-curricular, among other things. She enjoys supporting her community and currently has a support page active on Facebook for parents of children with special needs.
