Hey y’all!!! I am so glad spring is in full swing. I apologize for my silence but I have been working hard on something that is finally coming to fruition for me!!!!
I am finally in the process of getting my first book published. We are in the very beginning stages of getting things going but I was just too excited not to share. It is a personal growth book centered on how all facets of our health affect what I consider to be optimal or our true health.
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I wanted to let my readers here get a first sneak peak at chapter one!!! I hope you enjoy!
Chapter One: Diamonds Truly Are a Girl’s Best Friend
“A diamond is a chunk of coal that did really well under pressure.” – Henry Kissinger
“The fire of the diamond of true identity is always there, it just needs the Master’s crafting to reveal it.” -Kenneth G. Mills
“She is far more precious than jewels.” -Proverbs 31:10
“God changes caterpillars into butterflies, sand into pearls and coal into diamonds using time and pressure. He is working on you too.” – Rick Warren
Do you know that diamonds simply start out as coal? Under the right circumstances (i.e. time and pressure), coal becomes a marvelous strong structure that can withstand elements. Not so far off from what we strive to be! We strive to be strong and to overcome the things life throws at us. We incorporate vulnerability so that we can show transparency in our relationship, and to reflect and show our light to the world. Just like diamonds, we have multiple facets that make up who we are. These crucial elements are how we show emotions, build relationships, react to situation basically how we do everything!
When all the facets are working in harmonious tandem, girl you got something more magnificent than money can buy… IT MEANS YOU ARE OPERATING AT 100%! Which means you are mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually healthy. It means you have added the right pressure and time to the right ingredients (life tools). And if this is where you are, GIRL I AM SO PROUD OF YOU. And if it’s not, really it’s no sweat. You are on the way. By picking up this book and making it this far you have consciously chosen to start a journey to discover more about yourself and how to make life work for you.
But in all seriousness, it is important to get all of those facets working, because when they stop working in harmony, life can feel like a cluster f*** of s***. And because life is always changing, things can get thrown out of whack. So it is important to discover your life tools, learn where you are struggling, and know how to use the tools so that when anything comes up , you can not only survive it but thrive.
So, before we learn how to sharpen and add pressure, let’s talk about what makes up the infrastructure of your diamond. These are the five most important facets we possess:
- Mental Health
- Physical Health
- Spiritual Health (Personal Growth)
- Emotional Health
- Financial Health
I am sure you have read many books that have talked about these concepts separately, but I want to talk about them all in one book. I love pushing the limits and going where no one has gone before. And I STRONGLY BELIEVE that you can’t have one of the facets without the other. If one is suffering, so is another. So, I am going to define how these concepts should look and what things you can do to feed and fuel them and make them strong. As well as provide you away to get back on track if you derail.
But before we move on, let’s describe what falls under each category, so you know how specific I am going to get. Girl really, I am telling you get ready because if you want to have your world turned upside down, dump all the stuff out and organize it, now is the time.
Related Post: Release Your Expectations For A Happier, Healthier Life
Mental Health
Mental health is defined as a person’s condition with regard to their psychological and emotional well-being. Having good mental health allows you to be physically healthy, and if you are physically healthy you are able to work and do all things that fulfill you. Think about it if you are mentally stressed — this affects you physically by causing you to have high blood pressure, anxiety, and so on. Whatever mental health issues you face, I want you to know that you are safe here. Sometimes mental health gets a bad rap, especially illnesses or issues. But not here. We all have some trauma/illness/condition that at some point has left our mental health in a not so good state.
Anything could affect this. It could be environmental, stress, hereditary, relationships, depression, etc. It’s not your fault for what happens, but it is your responsibility to make CHOICES to be aware of what it is going on, what you are triggered by, and how to cope and manage it. Not so that you can blend into society. But so your mind doesn’t feel like a never ending roller coaster or a bottomless quick sand. THIS IS FOR YOU. So that you can break the surface and breathe. Wouldn’t that be nice. To just breathe and feel at ease?
Part of my childhood was rough; I am a victim of child abuse, and as a child, I had a very rocky/dysfunctional relationship with my father. This left me with a lot of unchecked rage and baggage. Then in my early 20s, I was in a highly toxic relationship. My definition of toxic relationship is this. In the relationship I was constantly on edge, I basically lived out of my car because I never knew when I was going to be kicked out. I was emotional drained and spent from crying and fighting all the time. I felt helpless, I felt unloved and I felt alone. I was screamed at, pushed around. And I never dealt with any of it. In fact, I pretty much thought this was the norm. I thought this was just what life was, to constantly fight to survive basically I lived by this idea “embrace the suck.” Like somehow it made me tough to live in a constant state of toxicity.
I constantly let life happen to me because I basically didn’t know any better. I continued to be triggered by past trauma that I ran from — one nightmare to the next. Until I met my husband, life wasn’t all magic and rainbows. But my husband, Frankie, helped me create a consistent safe place for me. At first nothing changed. As our relationship unfolded, we both became aware of our behavior pattern. Because when you are fighting and surviving all the time you don’t have time to figure out all the details. Hell, you barely have time to breathe. But we were left with two choices: do something or remain the same. Both of us decided if we were going to grow. So this safe space that we created gave us a chance to really work through all of our trauma and unresolved issues and it was hard work, we still are working on it but it is so worth it.
By refusing to get help, work through, or receive treatment, you are choosing to stay in your stagnant state, to constantly be spinning in your own s*** for whatever reason or purpose. And honestly, that seems scarier to me than moving forward. It also affects everything else in your life — your physical, emotional, spiritual, and financial health.
It is like building a house on top of a weak, and uneven foundation (aka your mental health) and expecting that your house will withstand the seasons of your life.
That is why it is so important to start with a solid foundation. You are not striving for perfection, but pristine ingredients every single time because you may not be able to control the outcome of the goal. But you can definitely control what you put into it.
Physical Health
Y’all this is the second most important facet you can have. Listen, if you are living in an unhealthy state and lack energy, how in the hell are you going to make your dreams happen? And also, physical health directly correlates with your mental health (like we discussed). The healthier you are, the more mentally healthy you will be. Plus, it gives you great confidence and a great flow of endorphins that make you FEEL GOOD!!!! Exercise also helps you build that little muscle called self-discipline and this is one quality ingredient you will want to have!!! Self-discipline is something you are definitely going to need, when you are dragging ass and not wanting to work on the goals you have set for yourself.
Now I am not saying you have to sign up for a marathon or an Ironman to be strong. I am thinking try some freaking WATER…YOU KNOW THE CLEAR STUFF. Get in 20 minutes of exercise/yoga — or whatever it is — as long as you move. The little things add up to the big things. Movement and eating healthy are great ways to grow stronger, and build self-discipline. And I already talked about this earlier, but physical health is really about what is on the inside of your body, not the outside. Staying healthy is a collection of habits and behaviors that you consistently practice on a daily basis, and are simple to return to when you fall of track. Physical health is not a restrictive diet plan, it is not pills, it is not hours on end in the gym. It’s finding what works best for you, and incorporating it in your daily life.
Financial health
It’s not about being rich — it’s about being smart and practicing good habits. You do not have to be a millionaire to be financially smart. Being financially smart means that you are taking care of yourself, and making informed decisions about how to use your money in the right way.
I don’t want to say I was horrible with money (because for the most part that would be untrue). I was afraid of money. It goes back to watching a family member spend money they didn’t have — so much so, that when they suffered medical problems, they had no safety net and they lost everything.
Seeing that, I vowed to never spend money I didn’t have. I never had a credit card, and all these vows solidified my fear. Which paralyzed me, not to mention I never learned about savings, or financial planning, how to get a loan or budget. So my fear led me to have financial problems (yep right where I didn’t want to be), and to be defensive talking about it. It kept me in a vicious cycle. I had really let my walls and ask for help.
My husband taught me how to organize and actually know where my money was going. We hired a financial planner who showed us where most of our money was going. It showed our strengths and our weaknesses, and how to make sure we had safety nets in place in case of something happening. My husband and I have worked really hard to reduce debt, and have measures in place that create a safety net.
Financial health is directly related to stress, which hello people that’s your MENTAL HEALTH!!!! And one of the biggest reasons for conflict between couples.
Our finances play a huge role in how we function, and how we perceive ourselves (not that it really should). It’s not about having a lot of money, it is having the power that comes from being financially smart.
I think anyone can be rich, anyone can make a lot of money. But what do they actually do with it? Real wealth is about the ability to make healthy financial decisions.
When a road block is thrown our way, we have a plan and safety nets — like savings accounts and liquid cash flow. Having a plan in these facets of life can help you get back to a balance when life happens, because we all know it does sometimes.
Like right now, as I am writing this book the WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD is in a crisis. The world has COMPLETELY STOPPED, people are jobless, panicking and wondering where their next paycheck is going to come from. That is why IT IS SO IMPORTANT to make sure you have a plan in place to make sure you are safe, and can at least take care of the basics. Ideally you want to enough money to cover the basics, and have a safety net so that again you can focus on continuing to grow. And the way to do that is to save money by keeping 10% of your paycheck in a “no touch” savings account. Then, when you have a certain amount that you’re comfortable with, you want to invest. If 10% is not an option, then save whatever you can. Never keep all your eggs in one basket. If you believe you can’t save a dime, then I want you to think about the things you allocate your money too (write it down if you need too). OH!!!!! You spend $30 buying coffee, or eating out…. think about if you saved that amount every month that would be $120 ($30 x 4 weeks) in a year you would save $1,440!!!! That is awesome!!!
Some people can have all the money in the world and never perceive themselves as wealthy.
Spiritual Health
Spiritual health is the ring leader of this circus. Believing in a higher power is essential to our being. It provides hope in the darkness and gives us a sense of purpose.
Believing in something ultimately means believing in yourself. Because we are mirror of our creator. Think about it: you pray for guidance or use words of wisdom and making personal growth. Whose life are you ultimately changing? It’s yours. Having a belief system also inspires hope. Hope ignites drive and motivation and these two elements are essential to succeed. Like the other element, it can fall out of balance, because of life getting in the way. The best way to get back on track is to either take a couple of minutes, hours or a day to reset and refocus. You can practice this through meditation or journaling. Really it depends on what helps you. I also keep affirmations and quotes around me to remind me to spend time in meditation and prayer.
Also, having a tribe of friends that supports and feeds your spiritual fire are the type of friends you want to have.
It is highly important because in daily life, we can get bogged down in our routine and bad habits that we don’t make our spiritual health a priority. But if you have ever noticed, when you cease making your time with the high power a priority, trying to fulfill your purpose doesn’t seem as sweet. It is like being thirsty and no amount of water can quench that thirst.
Lyndsey Bobola understands the struggles of losing weight and getting healthy. She has lost over 65 pounds through her fitness journey. Breaking through the fad diets and exercise routines and giving up excuses, Lyndsey created goals and developed nutrition plans that worked! She gained a healthy lifestyle and now feels better than ever before. As her life improved, Lyndsey developed a passion to help others discover the path to a healthier life.
Now, Lyndsey is here to help clients cut through the noise of Instagram fitness models and fad diets to find real, lasting change. She is here to help people who are ready to improve their life through fitness, health, and life goals.
Scrolling through Instagram accounts of so-called fitness models, Pinterest meal prep ideas, and online workout programs with no scientific backing, Lyndsey realized a majority of fitness ideas online are wrong. They are designed for quick but not lasting results, to make you feel inadequate, or to get your money and leave you hanging. Lyndsey wants to change that through education and hands-on training. Taking no excuses, she provides honest and effective guidance for people who are ready for change.
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