Our world today is very challenging. There are pressures at school (and in-home schooling) — home, friends, media, social media — pretty much all around us. And that’s not even mentioning the pandemic, current politics and racism. It’s difficult for adults to handle, much less teenagers.
We need to acknowledge that anxiety, stress and depression are normal and valid feelings in today’s landscape. What can we do to relieve stress and conflict? We can hold space for it.
Stuck in the cycle of busy hoping that one day there will be time for your and what you want?
You are not alone. PEACEFUL LIVING COACHING is here to support you!
Sometimes we need to find our voice and talk about the challenges we face, giving ourselves permission to speak and be heard. When we express what’s bothering us—what’s holding us back—we give ourselves permission to move forward. Owning and letting go of the negative in our lives allows us to develop resilience and embrace new possibilities.
That first step of talking about how difficult it can be for kids and teens today is important. Give some examples of challenges they might feel; showing them they aren’t alone in their fears and concerns with the uncertainty all around us. By mentioning your own issues and how you handle them is really helpful. Because in addition to being able to confide and sit with our feelings, we also just need some practical and quick ways to reduce the stress in the moment.
Exercise
Though this is often the tip that gets the most groans from our kids, it’s still one of the best. I know when I get moving, even when I really don’t want to, I always feel better. Physically for sure, but it’s way more than that. Exercise releases feel-good endorphins and lowers the levels of cortisol in your body. That means you feel less stressed, which in turn enhances your sleep quality, and increases your confidence. In fact, tell your teen that people who exercise regularly are less likely to experience anxiety than those who don’t.
Stop Procrastinating
When things are hard, it is difficult to summon energy to get stuff done. But, when you put off doing what you need to, it actually only makes you feel more stressed. The work looms over your head and you are always thinking about it. Plus, then when you do get to it you’re scrambling to complete those tasks before the deadline. Instead of trying to multitask, make a list of your tasks and do them in order of importance. You’ll reduce stress and enjoy greater productivity.
Chew Gum
What? How can that help? When I first realized chewing gum helps stress and focus was when my daughter would do her homework. She has ADHD and for some reason, if I gave her gum or a candy to suck on, she was much calmer and more productive. It turns out that when you chew gum, you get greater blood flow to your brain. Apparently it can cause brain waves to occur that are similar to those experienced by relaxed people. Who knew?
Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness means different things for different people. I find a few deep breaths really helps in the moment. It slows your heart rate and relaxes your muscles so quickly. Whether you take a yoga class, take a walk, stretch or try meditation, focusing on the present can reduce anxiety. I recently started using the meditation app Calm and I find it really helps me to feel more centered afterwards. And I am not exactly a woo-woo type, to say the least. In fact, I started with Calm because it had 2- minute sessions, which was all I could handle.
Listen to Music
Sometimes if I am angry or feel off, I will put on headphones and just take that time to tune out the world. If you have a teenager, you are well versed in seeing this in action! Still, they are onto something because certain types of music can lower your blood pressure and heart rate and may help to reduce stress hormones too. Slow-paced instrumental music works well—I love George Winston piano music, but classical, Celtic, Native American, and Indian music can also be soothing.
Laugh
Ok, it seems incongruous to use laughter to ease stress, because if you’re stressed how do you start laughing? But it works. Find a silly video or call a friend who makes you laugh. Laughing can go a long way to relieving stress. It helps your muscles relax, strengthens your immune system and lifts your mood. So if your kid is in a mood, try to make them laugh.
Get a Pet
Ok maybe don’t go get a pet—maybe just spend time with one! There’s a reason that schools bring dogs in during exam times, and there’s a reason some pets are therapy pets. When you play with an animal, your body releases oxytocin and that uplifts your mood. We have a dog, and we all feel better when we hug and pet him. He even makes us go outside and move because he needs a walk every day!
There are so many ways to reduce stress. Spending time with family and friends is always a great option. Right now however, I don’t know anyone who needs more time with family! (thanks, Covid!) But friends, whether in person or on zoom always help. They are the family that you’ve chosen and will be there to support you.
DANA BAKER-WILLIAMS
If you’re going to thrive in today’s crazy world, I believe you need to bring your whole self to the table: your personality, your sense of humor, and most importantly, your heart. All of these elements brought me to start Parenting In Real Life, my parent and teen coaching.
I’m a mom of two amazing kids, one of whom has struggled with ADHD, anxiety and depression. Watching this as a parent can be heartbreaking and feels singular. I had nowhere to turn and i was totally overwhelmed. When we finally put the pieces together and got our daughter some help, everything changed for her. But I still didn’t have someone who could teach me how to parent more effectively. It was trial and error on the emotional dysregulation, the panic attacks, and the lack of executive functioning. There was no handbook.
I vowed then that other parents should NOT have to be that scared, overwhelmed, and alone. And kids and teens shouldn’t feel alone, stupid, disconnected or “less than”. Now I am in the position to help parents and teens alike. I help other 2e families find calm in the chaos, connect with their kids, and bring peace and joy back into the family dynamic. I give parents the tools and support they need to communicate and parent more effectively. Simple shifts and techniques will allow you to parent with confidence and handle the challenges with grace and set your kids up for success with life skills, resilience, and self-advocacy.
Bring the joy back in your family, book a call now. https://www.parentinginreallife.org/bookings-checkout/book-a-free-consult/book
