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In this conversation I, Conny Graf, am talking with Jennifer Robinson who is a life and business coach and the creative force behind Peaceful Living Wellness, about the other pandemic, the anxiety and depression that came out of the social distancing and restrictions due to the Covid-19.
We both feel it’s very important that we talk about the mental health effects that most of us in various capacities are feeling. For Jen, who calls herself an extreme extrovert, it has become a topic that is very dear to her heart.
Let’s dive in.
Conny Graf: What can you tell us about the mental health issues resulting from the pandemic?
Jennifer Robinson: In my coaching practice, I have women who are coming to me, who are struggling with this post social isolation and extreme anxiety. On the surface we might not understand why we are feeling depressed and anxious, or why we are not feeling good. Being the former academic and trained researcher that I am, I have taken the time to dive into what’s going on. Not only for myself and my own healing, but for the healing of my clients, and hopefully through these conversations for the healing of many more people out there.
One of the first things I found in my research is that our levels worldwide of depression and anxiety are sky high and the ramifications of that are very severe.
– We are seeing many more people who are turning to drugs and alcohol.
– We are seeing many more people who are reverting to drugs and alcohol.
– We see people who are struggling with their work in their parenting,
– they’re struggling with suicidal ideation.
These are very life-threatening situations that we as a world community need to address. Instead, so much more attention is being paid to the Delta variant or who’s been vaccinated and who’s not. Just like when we first started to go into social isolation, there is not enough attention being paid to mental health.
I am here to say, it’s okay if you’re feeling this way, it is normal after what we all went through. Let’s talk about how to start with self love, to start a process to heal from the trauma that we have been through with this pandemic.
Conny Graf: I don’t think we’re really taught how to deal with these scary emotions, and there seems to still be a bit of a stigma if someone needs help with their mental health. How can we even start when it’s hard to reach out for help and we feel we should just be able to handle it on our own?
Jennifer Robinson: For me the place to start is to remember that we are not alone. That’s why I was very particular about saying that I am struggling with this as well. I want people to know that even though I’m a trained mental health practitioner, I am struggling with this.
The other thing I want people to really understand is that if you come out like a bull out of the gates at a rodeo, and you’re going to be busy, busy, busy again, that actually is avoidance behavior.
If you were a person who was busy all the time before social isolation, you are more likely to do that again after. And what that does is, it puts you in a place of mental avoidance and emotional avoidance. It might feel good at the moment, but from research we know what happens when we emotionally avoid our feelings. They will come back to us, often in the form of more severe mental health challenges, depression, anxiety, but also in the form of severe physical health challenges.
The amount of stress that is put on the physical body from bypassing emotions, from not processing emotions, is immense. That’s why heart disease is still the number one death sentence in the world, despite the pandemic.
If you do not address the stressors from the pandemic, if you do not process those emotions, they are going to kill you through heart disease. So that’s why this is of utmost importance, it is the matter of your life and death, it’s also a matter of your life and happiness.
Just binge-watching Netflix, which is also a tactic to avoid feelings, you are also damaging yourself. I want to tell you, it’s okay, I’m feeling this way too, other people are feeling this way but now we are going to do something about it.
Conny Graf: I think one of the big issues is, we don’t learn how to deal with emotions. So, I was wondering whether you have some tips, what we can do in the moment?
Jennifer Robinson: In my coaching program we always start with what I call Breaking Busy. And this comes from not only my own life experience but 20 years of coaching. So, if we are busy, busy, busy, busy, we don’t have time to feel. That’s why we have to learn to slow down, we have to learn to take that time. We have to pay attention to our bodies that if we go out and we’re busy, and we are tired, we need to allow ourselves to rest.
But I think the answer to your question is a little bit more nuanced because what you need to do as an individual, depends on what you are feeling as an individual. For example,
· If you are struggling with anxiety and depression, I do not recommend doing this on your own. I recommend finding somebody to help you, and that can be different for different people.
· For people who are not very in tune with their bodies that don’t understand how their emotions and their bodies work together, I’d love them to go and see a Somatic Therapist or Somatic Coach, somebody who can help them to really feel, where that depression ends up in their body, where that anxiety is in their body.
· If you’re somebody who is up in their head all the time, and all the thoughts are going, going, going, I suggest they see somebody like you, Conny who works with brain clutter, because that’s where they have to start.
· If you’re somebody who is feeling overwhelmed and lost and feel you have no purpose anymore then come and see me. I will help you dig into not only why you feel that you don’t have these things anymore but also how to fill your life with things that are meaningful to you, with things that bring you purpose, and how to have self love
My clients are high achieving moms, they’re always taking care of everybody else and they forget to take care of themselves. I help them go through that process so that they can be in self love.
Related Post: HOW TO PRACTICE HEALTHY DETACHMENT
Conny Graf: I do feel that you can start small because what you can do is actually feeling the feelings and accepting that they are here for now, and then they often go away because we let them be. Because we are giving them the space we’re slowing down, correct?
Jennifer Robinson: Yes, there’s a really wonderful technique that can be used to process any emotion, but particularly emotions that arise from everyday stressors, and that is to be aware of the story you’re telling yourself,
Our neurons will process an emotion in 90 seconds, amazing when you think about it, our brain can process that, and not just our brain but our endocrine system. Our hormones can process that in 90 seconds, but what we as humans do is we tell ourselves a story about whatever that stressor is. And by doing so we keep re-upping the anxiety, we keep repeating the emotion, and that 90 seconds repeats and repeats and repeats and repeats.
If we can be aware of the story, and say okay, the story I’m telling myself about this is, and then let that story go, get into our body and feel the emotion that’s going along with it, breathe deeply, which engages the relaxation effect, that stressor dissipates. If 90 seconds are up, and your still feeling stressed, simply rinse and repeat.
Conny Graf: That’s why I always say medical clutter leads to emotional clutter because with the story we tell ourselves we push the emotions down and it becomes like a pressure cooker. When the pressure gets too high, it becomes dangerous.
Jennifer Robinson: Absolutely. One of the things that my clients do from the get go is, they build breaks into their day. They build breaks to just sit and breathe. Because we’ve been working at home and many have animals, they go play with their dog, they go walk the dog, or they even walk the cat.
Conny Graf: I go hug my horses
Jennifer Robinson: Actually, horses are one of the most amazing healing animals out there. I personally have been volunteering at a horse rescue. Working with the horses on the weekends has helped me to get into my body through working with them and their bodies. Some of these horses have some real physical issues on their own, their own trauma, because they are rescues.
Working together to heal our trauma has been magical for me. Of course, horses are not for everybody, but animals in general can be incredible stress reducers, whether it’s a dog, a cat, or a bunny.
Conny Graf: I agree and another option is nature, for example go into the woods, that’s where we feel good. Giving yourself this gift, you might not be able to do it every day, but you can make a point and go on the weekend.
Jennifer Robinson: The healing effects of nature are so profound, trees and also the ocean are very healing, just getting outside. In yoga we call this grounding, taking your shoes off and feeling the earth beneath your feet. If you live in a city, find an urban garden or go to parks, go to a place where you can take your shoes off and feel the grass, feel the dirt.
One of my favorite things to do here in Charleston, is to go kayaking, because when I go kayaking out there, there’s dolphins everywhere. Not to touch the dolphins just to be with them and watch them. It is such an amazing thing to do.
But again, if we’re busy all the time, if we’re running the kids to soccer and dance, and basketball and gymnastics, and we don’t take that time for ourselves, we’re not going to heal.
Conny Graf: Exactly. I think we gave some ideas now on what to do, do you have any last other words, something you really want to get across before we wrap up?
Jennifer Robinson: Actually, yes. This is one of the most important points for everybody right now, introvert or extrovert:
Social connection, scientifically, has been found to be the number one thing we can do to reduce our stress. I really want to encourage everybody to have social connections. Do what you need to do to safely be in community with other people, that is going to be the best thing for you.
Conny Graf: Thank you so much Jen for coming on and talking with me about this important topic.
Jennifer Robinson: I do want to make sure to stress, if anybody is feeling depression and anxiety to where it’s affecting their daily functioning, please reach out for help from a trained expert, whether that’s a therapist, a coach, a spiritual leader. Please do not try to do this on your own.
Conny Graf: I agree, we have to normalize it. Just like when we feel sick we go to the regular doctor to get help with our body, it should be normal that if we have issues with our brain or emotions, we also go see the doctor, just a different kind of doctor.
Jennifer Robinson: Absolutely. and thank you Simone Biles for setting an example of doing something incredible to protect her mental health. Saying, I can’t do the Olympics this time, even when she’s already over there. She was so courageous by saying: I’ve got to protect my mental health.
CONNY GRAF
Conny Graf is a Swiss certified Expert in Finance & Accounting, a certified Clutter Clearing Practitioner, Astrologer, Coach, Podcaster and the founder and owner of From Chaos to Peace Consulting Inc.
She’s helping people create supportive, clutter-free environments in their home, office, files, and finances but more importantly, she helps them develop habits and systems that prevent clutter from creeping back in. Clutter Clearing is not just about purging and organizing, it’s about exploring and releasing the limiting beliefs we tell ourselves and the stories that keep us stuck in the past. Dealing with clutter brings us up-to-date with who we are right now and where we are heading in your life and business while being organized is simply a side-effect.
Her mission is to help people understand that decluttering is self-love, and a few minutes a day keep the clutter away. Come on a journey from chaos to peace with ease.
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