Most of us are aware of the harmful effects of ongoing stress on the body. But, unless a doctor has told them that they have a stress-based health condition, many people tend to brush it off. What they fail to see is that what they believe to be “normal stress” is actually ongoing anxiety. And that anxiety may be taking years off of their lives.
Often, when I talk to people about their stress they say things like, “it’s not that bad, others have it worse.” While this is one type of coping mechanism, it is a mistake to minimize the effects of stress and anxiety on their health over time. Living with even moderate stress and anxiety over time is considered “chronic.” And, it is this chronic condition that leads to the two major causes of death in the world: Heart Disease and Stroke.
That is why I ask you the question: Are stress and anxiety killing you softly?
If you are living with chronic stress and anxiety, and doing nothing to change your situation, then YES they are indeed killing you softly. You may not feel it now, but the health conditions they affect will rear their heads later in life.
WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN STRESS AND ANXIETY?
According the Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA), “stress is a response to a threat in a situation. Anxiety is a reaction to the stress.”
Think of the common definition of human stress as emotional strain or tension. This emotional strain is what provokes the fight or flight phenomenon (the response to the threat) and thus creates an hormonal imbalance of epinephrine and cortisol in the body.
Anxiety, on the other hand, is what the epinephrine and cortisol do to your body. Anxiety is the manifestation of physical symptoms of stress. Anxiety takes the form of thinking behaviors such as worry, focusing on negativity, engaging in exaggerations of negativity and rapid negative thoughts.
It also manifests through physical symptoms such as trembling, rapid breathing and an elevated heart rate, muscle tension and overall fatigue. Other symptoms of anxiety include an inability to sleep, gastrointestinal discomfort, increased sweating and lack of focus.
Both the emotional and physical symptoms of anxiety are a result of the physiology of our bodies’ hormonal reactions to stress.
4 STEPS TO AVOID THE HARMFUL EFFECTS OF STRESS AND ANXIETY
START WITH AWARENESS:
As is the case with any life-improvement skill, awareness is the first step. I truly wonder how many people are aware of their stress levels.
I recently was trying to do a little social research on my neighborhood Facebook page. From time-to-time I ask people if they are willing to answer a few questions to help me with “market research.” This particular time I started with the question, “do you feel stressed?”
Person after person answered, “no.” When I saw this I started laughing out loud. I live in this neighborhood! I see people fighting on Facebook (some of the same people who said, “no, they don’t have any stress.”) I see them racing up and down our main boulevard, tailgating and white-knuckling their grip on their steering wheels. I’ve even seen people get into screaming fights in the school car-rider lines and at mailboxes.
These people are stressed! They are just not aware of how stressed they are.
When we are aware of our stress and anxiety we can then take action to do something about it. But, if we live in a state of denial, we will continue to let that stress and anxiety take years off of our lives.
To assess your levels of stress, try this easy 4-Step process: Good Stress vs. Bad Stress. 4 Simple Steps to Assess Your Stress.
FIND YOUR RECIPE:
There are many, many people out there telling you that they have the “key” to living happy, healthy, stress-free lives. The problem with this approach is that these are often one-size-fits-all messages.
During my decades of personal self-development, and coaching others in their self-development, I found that the actual key to living a happy, healthy, stress-free life is to craft your own recipe from the helpful ingredients that are out there.
In my blog “A Peaceful Living Recipe for Hard Times” I talk about how I use “ingredients” such as meditation, positive people and self-nurture to reduce my stress and anxiety. Dan Buettner, author of “The Blue Zones of Happiness” says that the key to health and happiness is where you live. And, in her book “The Path Made Clear,” Oprah and her guests talk about how happiness comes from knowing your life’s direction and purpose.
As you can see there are many different tools you can use, ways you can think, and/ or things you can do to relieve your stress and anxiety. Finding what works best for you – your recipe – is the real key.
GIVE YOURSELF THE GIFT OF TIME:
In order to figure out which stress management techniques work for you, YOU MUST give yourself the gift of time. If you are like most of western society you are living a life filled with being busy.
Being busy is NOT a badge of courage!
More and more I hear women respond to the question, “how are you?” with, “I’m so busy!” Or, “super busy, but you know…” And they do it in a way that seems like they are trying to evoke sympathy.
RELATED: Breaking Busy ~ The Art of Stress Management Through Slowing Down
I even caught myself doing this not too long ago! I was grabbing a coffee at my local bagel shop on my way to a weekend conference at which I was speaking. My friend the owner commented, “geeze, you’re working weekends too?” I laughed and said, “yes, but it’s totally worth it.”
But then, as I was leaving and she said, “try to find some time to rest,” I started to reply, “yeah, right,” with a roll of my eyes. I caught myself though. Instead I replied, “don’t worry, I will! I’ve already scheduled Monday and Tuesday as rest days.”
The funny thing is, I don’t usually reply with a “I’m so busy” type of response. I’m actually not sure why I started to respond that way. My best guess is that I’ve heard so many people do that lately my subconscious picked-up on it as an accepted method of response.
Goodness gracious help us all if wearing busy as a badge of courage has become a norm in our society!
BUILD RESILIENCE:
In her book, “Rising Strong: How the Ability to Rest Transforms our Ability to Live, Love, Parent and Lead,” Brene Brown encourages us to embrace the process of falling down as well as the process of rising again. It’s through these processes that she sees our innate human ability to build resilience. She encourages us to be vulnerable and to rise stronger through that vulnerability.
I agree. I teach my clients a formula for building resilience:
Practicing vulnerability = courage.
Practicing courage = strength.
Building strength = resilience.
When we emotionally stumble and fall… when we fail… when we disappoint ourselves and others… when we pick ourselves back up again… that is when we build strength.
But, picking ourselves back up again alone is hard and lonely. That is why I encourage people to dig deep to have the courage to be vulnerable.
In my two-part blog series on vulnerability I talk about how I have grown through digging deep and being courageous in sharing my stories of fear and failure and disappointment. Through this courage I reaped the rewards not only of growing my own strength, but also of the immense support I received from my social network.
BLOG ONE: Vulnerability: Ask and You Shall Receive
BLOG TWO: Vulnerability is Not Victimhood
What do you need to do to figure out if stress and anxiety are killing you softly?
Are you aware of your stress levels?
Do you have any of the symptoms of anxiety?
If you answered “YES” to either of those questions it’s time to take action!
To Your Best Life!
Jen
JEN ROBINSON
Jen Robinson is the creative force behind the wellness brand Peaceful Living Wellness which is dedicated to providing a wide-variety of high-quality wellness information. Jen is also the creator of the Peaceful Living Wellness life coaching division, and offers workshops, individual and group coaching as well as retreats where she guides women in using Mindfulness and Mindset to build their inner strength on a foundation of inner peace. Jen also is the co-creator of the business coaching brand CEO Mindset that guides entrepreneurs in building their businesses without burning out.
The latest addition to her repertoire is that she recently signed-on as the Wellness Director for the business development company Wealthy Women Entrepreneurs . She is very excited to be leading this group of dynamic women entrepreneurs into success in their businesses and lives!
The most important part of Jen’s life are her two very active teenagers, AJ & Layna!
Jen’s Mindfulness and Mindset techniques inform her business, her parenting and her life!
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