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All month on the Peaceful Living Wellness platforms I have been urging people to get comfortable with practicing vulnerability. When we allow ourselves to drop our false bravado, authentically talk about our challenges in life and ask for help, we grow as a human being.
Practicing vulnerability allows us to increase our inner strength and grow our resilience. Think of it like a workout for your emotional muscles. Just like lifting weights or running can be hard at first, as you practice those exercises they become easier and easier. As we flex our emotional muscles through practicing vulnerability we strengthen them. We build self-awareness and self-confidence. We grow a sense of self-assurance. And, through that building and growth we then become more and more resilient.
RELATED POST: VULNERABILITY ~ ASK AND YOU WILL RECEIVE
THE IMPORTANCE OF A SAFE SPACE
One important thing to recognize about practicing vulnerability is that it is important to practice being vulnerable in a safe space with safe people. As many of us have experienced in our early lives, when we show vulnerability with certain people, or too openly, the bullies and mean girls will bulldoze us and try to emotionally take us down.
When you are practicing vulnerability, especially when you are first starting out, do it with trusted friends, a coach, a therapist or all three. In fact, I personally recommend all three. Each of these people acts in a different, yet important, role in our vulnerability support group. All three provide empathy, sympathy and perhaps a little cheerleading.
Friends are there to share stories and support in a balanced environment – you listen to them, they listen to you. Coaches are there to help you craft life-improvement goals and to support you in reaching these goals. Therapists take on the role of processing and healing past sorrow and trauma so that you can move forward emotionally with growing your inner strength. As you can see, all three play an important, yet different, role in your safe-space community.
RELATED POST: VULNERABILITY IS NOT VICTIMHOOD
VENTING, WHINING AND VICTIMHOOD
When I urge people to practice vulnerability in a safe space, the purpose is to heal and grow stronger through the help and encouragement of others.
Practicing vulnerability is not the same as whining and complaining on a constant basis to everyone and anyone. That is a self-inflicted form of victimhood.
I bet you know someone who is in what seems to be a constant state of crisis. Or, how about that friend who seems to complain about having meltdowns on a regular basis? And then there’s your “friendly” neighbor whose main topic of conversation is to complain about the neighborhood, community, local government, etc.
While we want to have sympathy for people who are struggling emotionally, this is not what I have found to be the healthiest manner of practicing vulnerability. The point of practicing vulnerability is to heal, not to just vent and then continue to make the same choices that led to the hurt in the first place.
GOING DEEPER WITH VULNERABILITY: BRENE BROWN ON THE COURAGE NOT TO KNOW
THE IMPORTANCE OF A CALM YET CONFIDENT TONE
On the other hand, when I go to a trusted friend, a fellow coach or a therapist to relate my struggles or ask for help I find that doing so with a tone of calm confidence helps with my healing. Now, you may be thinking, “Jen, isn’t calm confidence the opposite of vulnerability?” My answer is, that while it may seem that way on the surface, it really is not the opposite.
Calm confidence does not mean that our tone is devoid of emotion. In fact, I believe that tears can absolutely be a part of relating your sorrow and struggle in a calm confident manner. When we are being authentic in how we relate our vulnerabilities it appears as confidence.
For example, when I go to my spirituality coach and mentor and relate to her that I am feeling very disconnected from my higher power and very alone, I do so with sorrow and even a bit of guilt. But I also do so with a tone that conveys that I know she can help me and that I am open to being helped. This is different from venting or whining. It is confident in that I feel empowered to go to her, to relate my sorrow and guilt, and to ask for help.
MEET MY SPIRITUAL COACH AND MENTOR: SARAH FAMILAR-RAGSDALE
NOW GO PRACTICE VULNERABILITY!
You are ready!
Find your safe space and your safe people.
Ask for help with a tone that says you are open to receiving it and are grateful for the support.
Allow yourself to grow your inner strength, self-confidence, and resilience!
What you will find is that your confidence builds to such an extent that you will even be able to relate your vulnerability in a more public space like I share in this Facebook Live Video: Doing Something Hard Even Though You Feel Vulnerable
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Are you yearning for a little help in this challenging thing called life? Try out our Peaceful Living Wellness Membership! Empowered Through Peace: From Burnout to Bliss.
Are you already sliding so far towards burnout you need to deep-dive with a supportive, empathetic coach? I’m here for you! Find out more about to find more meaning, purpose and joy in your life through my Individual Coaching HERE.
It’s time for you to heal through practicing authentic vulnerability!
With Much LOVE!
Jen
